Click My Koala - Blogging aimlessly since 2009

Moving blogs

2011-10-03T23:09:00.000+11:00

Moving over to wordpress! :)

Find me here:

wykes likes - life, art, and other stuff

and on deviantART

Update for... October 1st.

2011-10-01T16:59:00.000+10:00

Nat the Cat

Nothing really to report, I have to say. We bought a fairly large TV, and a book shelf for the living room. Willy got me a Kindle, so I can read books that I've had in PDF format for a while, and not have to strain my eyes against the computer screen, haha. Early birthday present, for which I am very happy to have received! So, thank you, young Wykes-walker.

I've been spending a lot of the last few weeks writing and stuff, trying to get my ideas out in words. I've been working mostly on The Rising, which you can take a look at if you are so inclined.

I've been thinking about making a blog for it, since I'm kind of at a bump in the road. I like making blogs (but not updating them, it seems). Maybe I will do it. Probably not, haha.

The TV, with our computers next to it. One of the Jurassic Park
movies was on... :D

We're marinating a leg of lamb in the fridge, so every time someone gets something to eat, the house fills with the smell of garlic. At least it'll keep the vampires away, I guess.

You know, I took the clothes off the line too early because I thought it was going to rain. It looked like it was going to rain. The clouds were grey and thick. I was absolutely convinced that it was going to start pouring down.

It hasn't rained yet. It's just looked gloomy and mean outside all day since 11am. How annoying is that? Nobody likes soggy socks.

Nat the Cat has been very naughty lately. She's a nightmare. She sprints around the house at breakneck speeds and rips up and down the furniture with her dagger-claws. She jumps under curtains and tries to climb up them, dashes out from under jackets hanging on chairs, and climbs up your back when you're cutting meat. She loves scaling the metal mesh security doors, doesn't cover her poop in the litterbox, and gets her kicks by pantsing whoever she can.

Yes.

Our cat jumps up on our pants and pulls them down. SHE IS A BULLY. Nat the mean Cat.

Well that's it. :|

3 is the magic number.

2011-08-23T23:21:00.004+10:00

I try not to write sad posts. But I'm pretty sad at the moment, and this is my blog, so I'm going to write.

August has been a fairly challenging month for me, at least more than the last year and a half has been. Yes, I have it very easy - a husband who loves me and provides for us, food on the table and a roof overhead, a new pet kitteh, a permanent visa so I can live in Australia, lots of family, and effin snuggies, man. However, despite all of these bonuses, I feel pretty down in spirits. So, in the last month, I have come to realize three things:

I am very homesick.

Not a single day goes by without me thinking about things back home. In my dreams, silhouetted spikes of pine trees cover the horizon and snow falls in peculiar months. Memories of the good times spent with family make my heart ache. It's near impossible for me to accurately recall conversations I've had with friends in the past. I desperately miss that damn dog. I feel like crying every time I think about how far away I am from home, how distanced I've made myself from my family, and how quickly friends faded away.

I could talk about this with Will. And I have, in the past. But all that achieves is a sense of guilt, one that we cannot do anything to change, especially now that we have spent so much time and money on the visa situation. Over $5,000 dollars in all, and I want to go home? I couldn't do that to him. I just need to hold on and be patient.

I think I might be depressed.

As the above suggests, I am extremely saddened by my being so far out of place. I don't feel at home. It's like, when I stepped off of that plane, time around me stopped, but everything else kept going. I feel like I can't be honest, or myself, in public. It's practically turned me into a hermit. I'm shy, for the first time in years. I can't answer the phone or make phone calls without an overwhelming sense of anxiety. The thought of putting myself out there in the work place makes me feel like my chest has been tied in knots. The idea of driving on the left side of the road is the stuff of my nightmares - ones that usually end up with me crashing or otherwise causing havoc on traffic.

I feel like I'm trapped inside myself, and I can't get out. My anger has gotten worse. I snap at the littlest things now. I can't stand it anymore. I need to see a doctor about it. Seriously. I was so comfortable when we visited Washington together. But despite all of its beauty, Australia seems so wrong for me.

I actually hate somebody.

I never thought that I would see the day where I actually felt this much contempt and anger towards someone. It may have to do with me being far away from family and thus unable to help out or give any support, but I've felt nothing but hatred - HATRED, for someone in particular, in the last month. And this is coming from someone who tries to see the good in everything. Yeah.

Among many, many things, Jane has managed to basically threaten to kill me. She said that if I pissed her off, that no one would be able to save me. She said that I had somehow started something, and I had no idea how fucked I was now. Jane is sick of me and my shit.

Overall, I am not bothered by what Jane has to say about me. She can call me a fat, ugly bitch as much as she wants to. It won't change anything, because those aren't the reasons I hate her.

I hate Jane because she is a manipulative person. I hate her because she uses people. She uses them and uses them and uses them until she can't use them any more, then she throws them away. She is a leech. She is pathetic. As the great Mr. T has taught us all, we should pity the fool. And I do. I pity that fool.

Am I being overly dramatic? Maybe. But I don't think so.

Regardless, these three realizations have made me see that I need a change in my life. A few changes, actually. Wow, this blog post has pretty much been a festival of complaints. Sorry!

Is it irresponsible to tell kids there is a god?

2011-08-18T20:05:00.001+10:00

I love a show called “Can of Worms”. It’s an Australian show that focuses not on politics or current affairs, but rather on political correctness, personal values, and other things that we deal with on a day to day basis in life. Some of the topics have been whether it’s ok to tell your kids to hit back if they’re being bullied, whether or not it’s ok for a 17 year old to sleep with someone in their 40s, whether or not it’s ok to tell your teenager that some people take drugs because they’re enjoyable, and do we hero-worship our sports starts too much.

One of the more recent topics, is this: Do you think it's irresponsible to tell kids there is a god?

My answer? No, it’s not irresponsible, but only if you do it in a way that is appropriate for the situation.

Having never raised kids myself, I can’t say anything about any personal experiences. However, a lot of this is just common sense, really. However you do it, if at all, it needs to be in a manner that is appropriate to the situation.

Recently on the news I’ve been seeing video of a little boy named Kanon Tipton who, at the young age of 4 years old, is preaching in his family’s church. And that’s not all, he’s been ‘preaching’ since he was only 21 months old. I’ve seen the video – it’s emotional, fiery, dramatic... Everything that he’s learned from watching his father and his grandfather while they work. And apparently some out there feel that little Kanon’s sermons are literally the word of God being delivered through this 4 year old’s lips.

I try not to be judgemental of others’ beliefs. But there are some special cases that I just have to accept that, well, I’m going to laugh a bit. Scientology is one of those beliefs that I just cannot talk about without cracking a smile. And now, it seems I can add this example of evangelical Christianity to the list.

At age 4, I didn’t understand the concept of ‘God’. I find it difficult to believe that it’s possible for children that young to be able to understand much about religion in general. Sure, growing up I called myself Christian, went to a private Christian school for a couple of years, tried out Sunday school, and prayed at the dinner table.

But as I grew older, and my brain started to make those connections that would help me to learn about just who I am as a person, I found that I did not understand any of what was going on in a religious sense. Sure, maybe I was a bit slow in the religious department. Or maybe I wasn’t. Regardless, Christianity and a belief in God faded out of my life quietly and discretely.

If you want to talk to your kids about religion, there should be a basic checklist of some sort of things that you should consider before you even open your mouth.

Your own beliefs are something you obviously need to consider. If you’re an atheist, raising your children as atheists, then you’re obviously not going to teach them that God is watching them. You might teach them that people believe in lots of different things, or you might teach them that religion is a stupid flaw in human thinking that will doom us all. Personally I would go with the former rather than the latter, as teaching your kids to hate probably isn’t the best way to go, but hey, it’s your choice.

Likewise, if you’re a Christian, you’ll teach your kids that Jesus is God and that he died for their sins. Or you could raise your children to believe in Odin, or in Zeus, or Ganesha, or Shiva, or simply the God and Goddess, or any of the other hundreds and thousands of gods and goddesses out there.

The beliefs and wishes of your partner are also something you need to consider. If you're Christian and your partner is Jewish, what should you do? Discuss things with your spouse. Then, discuss things together with your children- perhaps you'll let them decide what feels right when they are old enough to make the decision. Perhaps you'll just omit religion altogether. It's something that needs to be decided between the both of you, because you both have rights when it comes to your child.

The age and maturity of your children are definitely something you need to check before deciding on whether or not to bring religion into your house. If your kid is 4 years old, they're more likely to be concerned about what the Wiggles are doing on TV than where their soul is going when they die. But when your 9 or 10 year old comes to you asking who Jesus is, why he loves her, and why her friends are telling her she's going to go to hell if she doesn't love him back, then perhaps it's time to open up a dialogue.

You know your kids better than anyone else does, and so you'll know when it's best to talk about these sorts of things. Personally, I hope to be able to show my future children that people believe different things, and that we should accept that people have the right to believe what they feel is right religiously.

The way you raise your kids is entirely up to you and your partner. The way others raise their kids is not.

If you’re babysitting your sister’s kids, who were raised as atheists or had no religious influence whatsoever, sitting them down and giving them the whole fire and brimstone, “you’re going to hell if you don’t accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour” speech, I don’t exactly think your sister would be very appreciative.

However, if your niece or nephew comes to you and asks why you wear a cross, or a pentacle, or a Mjolnir pendant around your neck, or why you read out of a Bible or a Quran, or why you’ve got naked statuettes on an altar, then sure – give them a short explanation and encourage them to seek knowledge from their parents. But for gods sakes, don’t cram it down their throats, or scare them into believing what you believe, especially if they aren’t YOUR kids.

As adults, it’s entirely our responsibility to conduct ourselves as the mature grown-up people that we’re supposed to be, as role-models and teachers to the children that are in our lives. It is from us that children learn how to present themselves when they grow older, and that includes the ways that we approach religion. If we teach our kids to hate that which is different just because it seems stupid to us, or because an ancient text’s translation tells us that it’s wrong, or because they choose to share their faith more openly than others do, then that’s all we’ll get – more hate in the world, more hate based off of ignorance and intolerance. That’s just what we do not need.

So if your brother has asked you to not talk to his kids about Jesus, then don’t. If your little cousin asks about the hammer around your neck, but your Aunt says she doesn’t want an ancient Norse god being mentioned in her house, then don’t. It’s as simple as that.

What? No books!?

2011-06-30T22:22:00.000+10:00

Went to the Westfield shopping centre in Tuggerah today. I have to say, despite buying a new sweater and a nice long sleeve shirt for the winter, I was quite disappointed.

Why?

Because they got rid of the book stores.

No joke. Both of the book stores in the mall are gone. I am beyond disappointed. I know that Borders went out of business (or was bought out or something), but the book store underneath Borders is gone now, as well. What is it now?

A Telstra shop. Yes, phones are apparently cooler than books.

It's like having 10 or so other stores that have to do with phones and technology in the mall is so much more important than reading something on paper (Ugh, seriously, who uses PAPER anymore!?).

I'm so disappointed in humankind right now. :[

Fifth Sacred Thing

2011-06-26T20:34:00.000+10:00

The world would benefit from such stories as this being viewed in large numbers.

Long Entry - Travel, Visa, This and That

2011-06-23T00:54:00.000+10:00

The last month and a bit has been quite busy for me and William. We had a house inspection right before we took a trip out of the country, so we had a few things to worry about. So, that's why my posting has been skimpy again.

The house inspection went well - it was quick and easy, and the house wasn't as messy as I'd thought it would be. The only problem I am concerned about at the moment is some mold that seems to have accumulated near the shower, on the ceiling. I'm going to be looking into some good mold killer that I heard of, so... hopefully it will work.

There is some good news to share - my visa was given the go-ahead, so last week, Will and I took a trip to New Zealand so that it could be approved (since it was filed off-shores, it makes sense that I needed to be off-shore when it was granted). So, I'm a resident of Australia now!

Travelling wasn't the best. The Chilean volcano that blew up a few weeks ago unleashed an ash cloud that travelled our way and cancelled a bunch of flights from Qantas and other airlines. Luckily, Virgin/Pacific Blue was still running flights to New Zealand.

We had trouble getting out of the country because my new passport did not have the visa label stamped into it, so we had to have Will's parents take a 2 hour ride out to the train station just to bring my old passport to us. I am so thankful that they are so kind and willing to help.

We missed our first flight because we needed to wait for the old passport, so after we got it, we ended up taking a flight from Sydney to the Gold Coast in Queensland in the afternoon. The flight was a bit bumpy near the end - we flew through a storm or something, and the entire right side of the plane seemed to drop out from under us, it was quite a shock.

We caught our flight to New Zealand, arrived at 1am, and checked in to our hotel. The trip was alright; we walked around a bit, saw the city. We visited the Auckland Zoo, Sylvia Park (a shopping center, it was pretty interesting), and meant to get out to One Tree Hill and Mt. Eden, but the weather begun to take a turn for the worse before we could get out there.

On our way back, we had a bit of a scare with my passports again; my visa had been granted to the old passport, and it took a little bit for them to change it over to my new one. It was a bit scary after waiting in the line for 30 minutes, but we got through it and made our way to our plane, which had already begun boarding by the time we got there. We got our seats and the plane began to taxi a little later.

Before we hit the runway, the plane stopped (meanwhile, we were noting how much it was raining and how strong the winds were). The captain came on the speaker saying something about there being something wrong with the steering for the plane. Um, yikes. They called an engineer out and they fixed it luckily, and I am glad that they found that problem before we were in the air.

There were two 3-4 year old kids screaming next to us for a fair chunk of the trip, the take off was really bumpy because of the heavy rain, and the arm rest between me and Will refused to move up, but other than that the trip back was mostly uneventful. The train was relaxing. We hung out at his parents' house for the majority of the rest of the day. Back to the routine, I suppose.

Since then we've been spending a great deal of time either hanging out with his parents or with each other, watching movies or documentaries. We've been having discussions about what's in our future (we're thinking a cat, so we've asked permission to have one on the property).

Will's back to work now, and I've also been considering what I can do for work. I'm hoping to be able to find something that doesn't require too much customer service or serving, as I really don't care to fall back into that line of work again. Frankly, people annoy me. And, Australian money is still weird.

I pretty much just want to find a way to get a little bit of money to help jump start a new hobby for me to do. I'd like to try candle making. It sounds fun, interesting, somewhat profitable perhaps... And who doesn't love candles?

Yule was the other day, I feel pretty guilty about not really celebrating this year. I've just been so worn out since the trip, I feel I just need a little bit of recovery time I suppose. Hopefully I'll be able to slip into some sort of a routine soon.

Well that's it for an update I suppose. A bit long. Hrm.

Losing Contact

2011-05-10T14:34:00.000+10:00

I try not to get all mopey. I really do. But since moving to Australia, I've realized just how lonely it can get, being far, far away from people I used to see every once in a while. People I used to be close with.

I don't know if it's just a normal part of growing older, or my moving to another country, or any of the other many, many things that come to mind. However, I am finding that a few people that I once were pretty good friends with (well, as far as I believed) are no longer speaking to me, despite my attempts to contact them through most common means I have available at the moment.

It's incredibly depressing, isn't it?

I really do hate losing friends, but I can't help but think that it's just something that I'm doomed to repeat for the rest of my life. My mind dwells on past friendships, and the turbulent ways in which they ended. Back then, I always thought that it was the worst way to lose a friend ever.

But I was wrong. There is a way to lose friends that is worse than fighting and bickering -- silence.

It's not knowing whether or not they are just distracted, or irritated, or if they just don't care anymore. It makes me feel like I'm a little kid again. Confusion, frustration, loneliness. It's so uncomfortable.

I'm not sure what to do, really. I feel that if I move in any one direction towards an answer, I'll be causing a problem or be irritating someone in some way. Should I try to talk, or should I just let our friendship fade away? I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Samhain and Stuff

2011-05-01T00:37:00.000+10:00

Well as I write this, I'm waiting for ze husband to return home. Tonight's Samhain, we've been burning some candles in memory of loved ones who have passed from each of our families, since we're just keeping it simple this year. We also are going to have a nice simple little dinner with some autumn-ey veggies and fun stuff like that. Oh, and my adequate apple pie. It's not amazing because I forgot to put the nutmeg and cinnamon in, but it's edible. It's a little tart, because I used the granny smith ones. They're my favorite though. Next time I'll use some sweeter ones.

My legs feel really shaky. Wanna know why? It's because I'm dumb.

I forgot that some of the apple pie stuff had oozed out and gotten on the bottom of the oven, and then tried to cook dinner. The kitchen got all smoky and the fire alarm decided to go off, at 11pm. Haha. It was pretty funny, me running around the house frantically, turning on the fans and trying to turn the damn thing off. It was really loud, too, so I guess that's good, in case we do get a fire someday.

I stopped it once, then it decided to go off again, for a few minutes that time... I tried everything I could to turn it off - I pushed buttons, etc. It just wouldn't stop! I called hubby and it sorted itself out, but my legs and ears felt like jelly afterwards, and they still do, haha. Well, these things happen I suppose. I just hope it didn't wake anyone up. And no, the fire dept. didn't show up, so that's good!

I've got our pumpkin bake ready to go, it's in foil and on the counter, but I'm not putting it in the oven until ze husband returns from work. I'm not saying I'm scared the alarm will go off again... ....

Ok I am. Haha. I hate that thing!

Captain's Personal Log: Stardate 64801.2

2011-04-19T17:00:00.000+10:00

Vrrrrmmmm....

Today was a pretty mundane day. A few things were strange and/or irritating, but overall things kept pretty boring.

I did some laundry, and there's still some on the line. I am pretty sure that it will not be done before night falls. This frustrates me deeply. I started laundry really early! But the wash cycle took so long... I think I need to start loading the washer up the night before and setting it to start in the morning.

Some guy came to the door about our electricity company being bought by the Chinese. When I asked the husband to join me in talking to this guy, he declared quite proudly, "I don't have pants on!" That was pretty funny.

The lawn guy came and mowed down our weekly ad papers, so now there's a bunch of shredded paper all over the lawn. It's not like he could have missed it or anything, though. I mean, how could he? Obviously the lawn mower runs by itself, and is not controlled by him in any way whatsoever.

Husband's been playing Age of Mythology all day. Can't say the same for myself. I've been sitting in the same spot for a lot of the day, just staring at nothing. I did some dishes, and some cleaning of course. We did the recycling and garbage. I kind of want to tear him away from the computer for a second so we can spend some time together before he has to sleep for work. But I know he really likes playing games before work, so I'll probably just leave him to do what he wants.

Ginger beer keeps burning my throat and nose when I drink it. It's because I breathe at the wrong time. Whoops!

So yes. As you can see, fairly boring day. Siiiiigh. :|

Fuzzy Socks and Chai Tea

2011-04-15T03:40:00.000+10:00

I'm sitting here drinking chai tea and enjoying my wonderful fuzzy socks, just as the title of this entry implies.

I should be in bed. But I keep on thinking.

My visa situation is moving along. I have booked an appointment for the required medical exam, and am almost finished getting my paperwork together for my new passport.

I keep thinking to myself about how far this has come. I've been in the process of getting this sorted for over a year now. There have been lots of ups and downs, lots of money being spent, and many other hoops that the husband and I have had to jump through just to gain the credibility we needed to get this far, like opening a bank account together, renting a house together, etc.

My husband is a champion. I'm so lucky to have him, so glad that he's been right there with me every step of the way. Things are beginning to fall into place, and he's kept strong -- and kept me strong, the whole time.

There's another thing that I've been thinking about. I've recently sent a letter to somebody I care about very deeply, addressing something that they have had a problem with for a very long time. I haven't received a response from them at all, and I can only assume that this means they are either

Contemplating what I've said, or
Have completely ignored the letter's message

I'm really hoping that it's the former, and not the latter. As I said, I care about this person a lot. It's sad to see somebody you hold dear to your heart spiraling down a path that leads to the destruction of relationships, friendships, and possibly more. Well, I suppose all you can do is try. And I have. If they don't want to listen to what my concerns are, that's their business. I only hope that it wasn't received as, "Oh, they're just bitching about stuff." :/

Winter is coming. I can feel it. My hands are like ice cubes! I'm glad it's not hot, but does Australia really have to be so dynamic in its weather choices? Can't it be somewhere in the middle for once?

Samhain is coming up once again. It seems like just yesterday dear husband and I were contemplating the year to come... Has it really passed by that quickly?

Well I should get off to bed. I've been postponing this for far too long! :P

Small Update of Sorts

2011-04-10T12:58:00.000+10:00

A lil somethin somethin I brought home from the US :)

Things have been pretty unexciting lately, which is good I suppose. I'm looking at taking an art course online, from the same people that Will is taking his course from. Hopefully we'll be able to pay for that soon, but I don't mind waiting if it means we get out of debt a little faster.

I've been trying my hand at writing again, mostly on the back story for my little game project I've been playing with. I'm considering picking up writing my other story, as well. I'd nearly forgotten all about it. I'm finding it quite difficult to write though, I get caught up in tenses and my newly attained inability to describe things the way I want to. It's been getting worse, my frustrating sense of "OMG this has to be perfect". I wish I could just let go for once and let myself learn to write again.

Made a couple of things since last posting. I'll share them here.

A little box made of newspapers

Bottom View :)

Finally, something to use the
empty toilet rolls for.

Help for Japan

2011-03-18T06:21:00.001+11:00

Hey gang,
As the situation in Japan appears to grow more and more dismal by the day, I figured it would be a good idea to throw out some options for anyone who may happen to accidentally discover this web page, or whoever may wish to donate to a cause to help the victims of Japan's earthquake and tsunami. I've got the links on my side bar, but will describe them here as well.

Salvation Army - You'll need to figure out for yourself which Salvos to donate to, because if I read it correctly, it does matter. I've put up links to the Australian and the US websites for the Salvation Army, but if you're from another country than those two listed, be sure to check Google for an appropriate webpage. So far, as of 16 March 2011, the Salvation Army has three teams in Japan providing help to people affected by the earthquake, tsunami, and ongoing issues at the nuclear power plant. They state on their news page that the Japanese Government has recognized their work and has given their teams permission to enter the disaster area and to use roads that are otherwise closed off to the public. Click here for the rest of their story so far.

Save the Children - Save the Children has so far sent a team to Sendai to aid the children and their families there. As said on their webpage I've linked to the side, they have been setting up networks of child friendly spaces there, and have already established an evacuation center in one of Sendai City's elementary schools. They're working very hard to ensure that children are being taken care of, including protecting their rights and providing psychosocial support to help the children overcome the stress and shock of the recent events.

"Dog Bless You" Facebook page - Explore.org is donating $1 to the National Disaster Search Dog Foundation, up to $100,000, for every "Like" on its Facebook page. As of right now, they seem to be well over the 100,000 mark, but I thought it a cause good enough to mention.

Causes - The first time I heard of this was on Facebook, but Causes.com has a fundraising project that offers two different ways that you can help. You can choose to donate money straight off, in amounts of $10, $25, $50, $100, or $500. If you want to help in a different way, you also have the option to "Give a minute," which, from what I've gathered, involves completing an "activity" which comes after an advertisement. I was only able to complete one activity before I got a "no activities left" message, but see how you go, and definitely share it with your friends.

Red Cross - The Red Cross is one of the names being heard on the news or around the web. Depending on what country you are in , there are several different ways for you to donate. There's an option to donate by mail, by phone, by person, or online. You can even volunteer your time or donate blood. Find your country's appropriate Red Cross website and pick a way to help out. So far, according to their website, the Red Cross has had a helicopter team evacuate people from their rooftops, transported medicine, and food to hospitals. Japanese Red Cross volunteers have been distributing relief items, including more than 65,000 blankets, to victims, and have been ensuring people are getting hot meals, clearing debris, and providing medical transportation. Additionally, the Japanese Red Cross has sent 85 medical teams (more than 735 people!) including doctors and nurses to the areas that need them the most.

Google - Google has been outstanding in my opinion since the whole situation began. I recall them even having tsunami warnings on their front page that evening. They've established a web page that is updated continuously with the purpose of giving the latest information, resources for people who've been affected by the situation, and ways to contribute to relief efforts.

Straight off, they have the Donation section, which includes the Japanese Red Cross Society, unicef, Save the Children, and International Medical Corps. Under that, they have the Resources section, with all sorts of very useful things, such as Emergency voicemail message boards, an Alarm and Warning section, Maps, and Shelter information. There's plenty there.

At the bottom, they have the "Latest News" section, which includes a video section and a Realtime Updates section. Anything that's said about the earthquake, tsunami, or nuclear situation in Japan shows up instantly, which is very good for keeping up with what is going on overseas at the moment.

So, to wrap this all up, there's many things you can do to help the victims of the Japanese earthquake/tsunami/nuclear crisis. There's plenty of options, so pick the one you like best, and find a way to make it work. The more we can do to help the people affected by this event, the better.

"Prayer doesn't do anything."

2011-03-12T23:53:00.000+11:00

It's depressing how negative and crappy people can be to each other when there's a lot of bad things going on in the world. You would think that when something bad happens, people would you know... Think before they speak?

But I forget sometimes that people will be people. To hurt someone else for personal gain, even if it's to stroke one's own ego, is completely natural for people to do.

Among many of the "Fuck Japan, it's what they get for WWII," and "The Japanese deserve this!,"comments that I've been seeing around places today, I've also been seeing some thrown in that have to do with praying, especially comments saying that it does nothing and that people are being lazy and selfish.

I'm sure that many of the people who are praying for those in Japan (and Libya. And Egypt. And New Zealand. And Queensland. And everywhere something "big" has happened lately) has donated something to help these people out. I'm also sure that many haven't donated. But to call them selfish and lazy? Is that necessary?

The fact is, whether you believe that praying will help or not, people are getting the word out. People are spreading around the news of what has happened. Even if it's just someone saying, "Pray for Japan!" on their facebook, it's something, because then others will see it. And then they'll say something about it. Then more people will know about it. The more people who spread the word about what is happening, the better, because then people will have the option to help out in some way that is a feasible option for them. Whether it's donating clothes, money, flying overseas and helping physically, or just spreading the word and praying about it, people are doing good things, and to call them selfish and lazy only exposes the filthy, negative creature that you are to the outside world.

ikr? ikr? ikr? ikr?

2011-02-23T07:31:00.000+11:00

"I know, right?"

Once only a slightly irritating phrase often said accidentally around friends or during heightened moments of excitement, now the phrase has become an even more annoying acronym that will now and forever more haunt me until all the hip kids knock it the heck off.

IKR?

Honestly. IKR? It's almost like, "I care?" which is even more of a smart-ass remark than "I know, right?" can be, when spoken in the appropriate tone of voice.

I only saw this a few times, here and there between younger guild mates on occasion. Now I see it popping up everywhere I look. On deviantART. On Facebook. From older guild mates. From people I know. From people I don't know. From everywhere.

Why am I complaining about it? What good will it do for me to complain about these three letters?

None, that's what. And that really sucks. I know, right?

These days...

2011-01-19T10:37:00.000+11:00

These days, it is in my opinion that modern civilization requires a great revolution.

Visiting Home

2010-11-27T16:48:00.000+11:00

This is gonna be a short one.

We're visiting Washington now! We landed in Seattle on the 21st 'o November. The next day, it started snowing like crazy and then eventually the power went out -- and stayed out for a few days. It was fun, really. Husband had fun in his first snow, and last night we got to go to a family Thanksgiving dinner. It was nice. :)

We've also met our youngest nephew, Ethan. He's my brother's son, and he's absolutely adorable.

Anywho, we've been busy hanging out with the family, so until something exciting happens, there may not be any updates. :P

My Writing Bone is Rusty

2010-11-12T00:57:00.000+11:00

I've been (attempting to) write in this blog fairly often... So far it's working (kinda!). As a result of it, I've been typing a tad more often, and that's been making me miss the days when I would spend hours and hours a day just writing writing writing in MS Word.

Granted, most of my writing was about Sailor Moon and stuff of that sort, but hey, I was young!

Now that I'm older (kinda....!), I'd like to give a whack at writing again. I've been thinking a lot about stories I liked to read when I was younger. I recall one author that really stood out to me, Roald Dahl. He was the author of such gems as The BFG, James and the Giant Peach, and a few others you may remember.

Anyway, just thinking about those books I read back when I was younger made me (perhaps foolishly) begin to believe I'd do at least okay at writing something.

One nearly-all-nighter later, I've come up with an idea. And I'd like for you to read it and comment below with your suggestions. I will post what I have after the break.

Chapter 1

The Chain Link Fence

Clutching her steel blue jacket close to her chest, Jackie stepped closer to the chain link fence in front of her. Her fingers intertwined in the links and she pressed her forehead against the fence lovingly. A sigh escaped her lips.

Jackie had never been on the other side of the chain link fence, but she had always dreamed of it. The other side had always looked so beautiful; the grass was thick and green, the trees were healthy and alive, and there were even animals wandering about the area across the fence.

She turned her head slightly, allowing herself a cursory glance in the direction she had come from. Dusty, almost grey dirt covered everything behind her. Concrete covered other surfaces, and all of the buildings behind her were made of the same material. Flowers in muted colors of three sorts dotted the walls, in some attempt to bring life to the otherwise desolate place.

Others had tried to scale the fence before – and failed. Atop every single inch of the fence sat fierce-looking barbed wire, jutting in every which direction like the jagged needles of a cactus. Any who tried to cross the fence quickly learned of their mistake. Every day in the newspaper and on the television, there were stories of other dreamers getting badly injured while trying to cross over the fence.

Jackie put it all out of her mind. She was only 11, but she was smart enough to know not to attempt such a foolish thing. Sighing again, she pulled her chin-length brown hair behind her ear and slowly turned back towards the bleak place she knew as home.

As she entered the back entrance of her house, a pair of tired silver eyes looked up at the girl from the kitchen. The eyes were those of her mother, who seemed to be preparing supper. Her gnarled hands mashed ground meat and bread crumbs together while loud cracks and pops escaped from her knuckles.

“Ma... What is for supper?” Jackie asked while she hung up her jacket on the wall.

“Meatloaf, Jacquline,” her mother replied in a rough voice that sounded similar to that of a beast’s grunt.

“But Ma... We had meatloaf last night, and the night before...” Jackie whined, situating herself on a stool near the kitchen counter. Ma kneaded the meat a little longer, then slammed it down on the surface with both hands.

“Meatloaf is good for you, Jacquline. We have it so often because it is full of good vitamins and makes us healthy and happy.”

Jackie held back a sneer as she watched the ground beef ooze between Ma’s knuckles. She knew better than to continue the argument. When Ma’s bones stopped cracking, it was time to move on else you’d risk a whacking.

After what seemed an eternity, the bones started crackling once more.

“Ma,” Jackie said.

“Yes, Jacquline?” Ma replied.

“Ma, why do we live here?”

Ma gave Jackie a quick look of exhaustion, her tangled brown hair swinging before her pale, round face. She sniffed once, then moved the meat into the pan on the oven.

“We’ve gone over this before, Jackie,” she finally said, “Your father and I like it here, and that’s that.”

“But what about me?” Jackie asked quickly, her freckled face showing a frown. Ma looked into Jackie’s grey eyes sternly, then shook her head.

“You’ve been looking out at the fence again, haven’t you?” Ma asked. Jackie bit her lip and nodded slowly.

“Listen,” Ma sighed again, “You must stop looking out there. It’s filling your head with nonsense. We live here, Jacquline Jones, not out in that... that wild place. It’s unsafe, it’s filthy, and if I hear one more word of the fence come from your lips, I’ll swat you.”

Jackie could say nothing more. Ma was right. Just looking through the fence was making her forget her manners.

Her eyes drifted to the window. The grassy land across the fence was perfectly outlined by the metal frame holding the glass. If it were a painting, it would have been the most colorful one Jackie had ever seen.

But it wasn’t a painting. It was just glass, surrounded by cold metal. Even the beautiful terrain ahead was cut off by metal. That fence.

That chain link fence.

So, how was it? What age bracket do you think it would most likely fit, and are the words too big/small for that age? Was it too long or short for that age bracket?

Let me know if stuff doesn't make sense, or if I fudged up spelling (MS Word kept yelling at me because I didn't spell color as 'colour,' so excuse the fancy British/Australian/Anything but American spelling of certain words). Did it give you any feeling about the area the girl lives in, or should I pump up the description more?

Thanks in advance for any comments that can be spared... and keep in mind, Anonymous comments ARE permitted, so feel free to drop a line down undahhhh.

Ghosts?

2010-11-06T01:41:00.000+11:00

I know it's kind of late - you all were in the mood for Halloween/Samhain a week-ish ago, but I watched An American Haunting recently, and while the movie didn't really speak of ghosts precisely, I thought I'd wonder out loud (or..in type...) about this particular topic.

I probably have mentioned ghosts before here. I can't really remember at the moment, as it's pretty late at night for me, but I'm awake enough to not be able to sleep.

I don't know about you, interwebs, but I think I believe in ghosts. I mean, how could something so widely mentioned or experienced not be at least partly true? There's always a possibility.

I've had a few encounters (I think) with spirits of some sort. One time, I was driving down into town back in Washington. It was dark, yes, but I am 100% sure of what I saw. I was at the stop light, waiting to turn left, when suddenly I felt the urge to look behind me in the rear view mirror.

The moment I did so, a figure with blue (or green?) eyes moved his gaze to look directly at mine, and did so through the mirror. Instinctively, like every good horror movie star, I turned around and - of course - saw nothing.

But I'm certain of what I saw. I saw a man with a slightly square ish jaw line, with short hair (perhaps a military cut?) look directly into my eyes from the right back seat of my car. Now... the car I was driving at the time had been given to me by my uncle, who had bought it from someone else. It was well used, and the back and front ends' interior colors did not match. It's possible that the car could have been in an accident, or something similar to that. It was made in '89 after all, that's a lot of time to fill with owners.

The most recent encounter I can think of was here in Australia. I didn't see this one, rather, my husband did. One night, I got out of bed and opened the bedroom door. I recall looking down the hallway towards the kitchen, I think it was to check if the doors were open or not, but I can't really explain why I felt the need to look in the first place. After looking, I started to head to the bathroom across the hall.

As I reached the bathroom, I heard a few gasps come from the bedroom. I looked over, thinking dear husband was playing around, only to find out that he had seen something. When I returned to the bedroom, I sat down next to him and he told me that he had seen someone, or something, gliding behind me. It seemed to be travelling from the kitchen to the front of the house, and its path crossed mine. He described it as a dark green figure that seemed covered in scrap cloths of some sort.

Kinda freaky, eh? The weirdest thing was that aside from the urge to look down at the kitchen, I felt nothing. Though right now, just thinking about it, I'm getting a little freaked out. Haha.

Anywho, tell me what your thoughts are on ghosts. Have you seen one? What would you do if you did?

Until next time...

Viruses SUCK

2010-11-06T00:47:00.000+11:00

Urrrgh

Yeah.... so I decided to grab a trial of a program from a website that I'd trusted for years and years... Turns out it was a horrible, HORRIBLE idea.

I downloaded the program with ease, but when I opened it, I noticed that it had some funky symbols going on in areas. Irritated, and clearly not paying attention, I closed it and forgot about it.

Later that evening I had some fun little things pop up. A MSN Messenger-like window popped up in the corner of my computer screen, and suddenly a bunch of warnings came up. "Do you want to update Adobe?" "Virus alert!" etc, etc.

Freaking out, I turned the computer off and unplugged it from the network. Seems I did that just in time. I backed up a bunch of my photos and files and stuff on my external hard drive... Unsurprisingly, the virus jumped onto my hard drive and decided to crap all over that. We grabbed everything we could, and Husband used some wonderful AVG virus scanner magic on it... Worked like a charm, everything is well on the external, and all my photos were saved. Thank goodness.

We're in the process of reinstalling Windows on my computer, after completely wiping everything before... after that I'm gonna grab AVG and scan like crazy so long as I remember to from now on.

The whole thing put me in such a sour mood that it poured over into my whole day. Trying to figure out the marriage certificate stuff, me starting stupid arguments... Stuff like that. I'm feeling a little better emotionally, though physically I'm feeling a tad ill.

I'm not really looking forward to reinstalling all my games, either. Oblivion, Rollercoaster Tycoon, Fallout, WoW, The Sims 3, and a few others... A few other programs as well.. Not gonna be fun. But at least (hopefully) the virus problem will be solved.

Anyway, the point is - Be careful what you download... There are people out there who get pleasure from causing other people frustration and troubles. :/

-Manda-

Dreams and Irritation

2010-10-31T00:21:00.002+11:00

Lately, I've been able to wake up remembering bits and pieces from my dreams. Lately they've been fairly mundane, things about walking to places, memories of high school, and stuff like that. Last night was a bit different, however. It may be just because I slept for so long, but who knows?

Dreams feel so normal when you're in them. It's like how the movie Inception is, in that you suddenly are in the middle of it all, yet it feels completely normal to you despite you not recalling how you got there. Or at least that's how you remember them after you've woken.

What I can remember of last night is vague, but there were a few key things to note. The beginning (of what I can remember) took me through the world in first person, and for some strange reason, it reminded me of Fallout. I ended up going to several different places, including a gas station and a store. It appeared to me that I was in the United States.

Then, for some reason, I kept running into a friend of mine, who spoke with me once, but then continued on their way. In my dream, the person I had talked to was a good friend of mine (funny, how you can develop relationships with people who you don't even recognize outside of the dream world). Apparently being so close to this person made me completely offended for the rest of the dream, because after the one conversation we had, they avoided me like the plague.

I wondered to myself whether or not it was because I had said something wrong, or if they had important things to do elsewhere (which, for some reason, I kept following them around or running into them in different places -- it did not seem that they were too busy). My main beef with this dream friend of mine was that they had written me off so easily when I was only in the US for a visit (I currently live in Australia. My dreams have been catching up to this fact finally, as I have only recently begun dreaming about driving on the left side of the road).

I was just so irritated at this dream friend of mine for ignoring me so blatantly. I would call out to them and they would not even look my way. I'd wave at them when running into them at the gas station, and they'd just turn to their own car and drive off. It began to piss me off.

I ran into my mom in the dream a little later on, and I told her about how annoyed I was at the dream friend. She helped me laugh it off, and we started back home. Suddenly, I stood at the road, near the mailbox. The ground around me was dry and mostly dirt. The trees were bare and black. The only thing with a motor I saw was a tractor.

I turned toward the driveway and suddenly saw a cougar. It stalked around near the road alone. I asked my mom about it, but she had nothing interesting to say about it. I began going up the driveway (in jumps, it's like bits of that journey and chunks of my driveway were missing). By the time I reached the front yard, it was dark.

I recall going up the stairs after my mom, being careful to avoid the cougar that seemed to have followed me around. I remember seeing the dining room's light being on, and the wooden table in the corner of the room. I looked over the dining room table and to the window, where I saw my younger brother standing on the other side, with his forehead against the glass, and his palms wide open against it as well. He stood motionless until I came to the door and opened it.

I asked him if he had seen the cougar, and without a response from him, we walked to the top of the stairs on the porch, overlooking the yard. A tree was to the left, and we noticed the cougar jump into it. I looked towards where the cars usually are parked, and saw a white car, possibly the old Corsica we had a while back. The cougar suddenly leaped towards it, in full view by the right side of one of the outdoor lights.

Just as soon as it had jumped down, it turned towards the house and began running at a deer that had just revealed itself from the bottom of a bush (probably the climbing vine thing my mom has). It pawed at it for a second while running after it, all the while getting closer to the bottom of the steps.

Then, without warning, my heart jumped into my chest as the cat began running at a medium pace up the stairs. My brother and I ran towards the front door, and I clumsily attempted to open it. I finally got my hands to work, only to find that the door knob was locked. I called out to my brother, saying that he had locked the door on our way out (I recalled him having touched the door before we both stepped out, but he may not have).

I turned on my heels and the cougar had just reached the top of the stairs. The first thing that came to mind was to try to look big in order to protect us, and hopefully scare away the cat. I lifted my arms and made a yell that would hopefully do the trick, but it did not work. The last thing I saw before I woke was the cat leaping on top of my brother and going for his throat.

I woke up a bit suddenly this morning, and the dream stayed with me all day. I looked up a few of the things in my dream online, via this website. What I found was pretty interesting, so I'll post it below .

Ignore
To dream that you are ignoring someone or being ignored, represents some aspect of yourself which you are not paying enough attention to. Perhaps you are overlooking something. Alternatively, it may reflect your real waking experiences of being ignored by that person.

Gas Station
To dream that you are at a gas station, indicates a need to reenergize and revitalize yourself. You may be running low on energy and need to take time out to refuel. The dream also represents your ability to convert outside resources and use it for your own needs. Alternatively, dreaming that you are in a gas station means that you need to reach out to others and offer your help.

Pursuit (following dream friend)

To dream that someone or something is in pursuit of you, indicates that you are refusing to acknowledge a certain viewpoint or idea.

To dream that you are in pursuit of someone or something, suggests that you are being denied of your power and influence. You need to re-evaluate your strengths and concentrate your efforts in something more worthwhile.

*Please also see Common Dreams: Chase

Mother
To see your mother in your dream, represents the nurturing aspect of your own character. Mothers offer shelter, comfort, life, guidance and protection. Some people may have problems freeing themselves from their mothers and are thus seeking their own individuality and development.

To dream that you are having a conversation with your mother, denotes a matter that has preoccupied your mind and you are not sure how to deal with it in your waking life. It indicates unresolved problems that need to be worked out with your mother.

To hear your mother call you in our dream, suggests that you have been negligent in your duties and responsibilities. You are pursuing down the wrong path.

Brother
To see your brother in your dream, symbolizes some aspect of your relationship with him. It can also serve to remind you that someone in your waking life has certain characteristics or behaviors similar to your brother.

Desert (The conditions near my driveway were very desert-like)
To dream that you are walking through a desert, signifies loss and misfortune. You may be suffering from an attack on your reputation. Deserts are also symbolic of barrenness, loneliness and feelings of isolation and hopelessness. The desert landscape may also be a metaphor for feeling deserted and left behind.

Night
To have a dream that takes place at night, represents some major setbacks and obstacles in achieving your goals. You are being faced with an issue that is not so clear cut. Perhaps, you should put the issues aside so you can clear your head and come back to it later. Alternatively, night may be synonymous with death, rebirth, reflection, and new beginnings.

Cougar

To see a cougar in your dream, symbolizes wild beauty, power, grace, and raw emotion. It often refers to feminine power and aggression. Thus, the dream may represent a woman. Alternatively, it indicates lurking danger and death.

Attack
To dream that you attack someone, represents pent-up frustration and anger. You feel that you have been wronged. Your dream serves as an easy and safe way to express your anger.

To dream that you are being attacked by someone, indicates your character is being questioned. You feel the need to defend yourself. You are feeling stressed, vulnerable and helpless. You may also be facing with difficult changes in your waking life. Dreaming of an attack provides a way for you to confront these situations that you may be avoiding in real life.

To dream that you are being attacked by an animal, is a warning to be careful with those around you. Take notice of who you know in your waking like that shares and exhibits the same qualities of the animal that attacked you in your dream.

To dream that you kill an attacking animal, suggests that you are going against your instincts or gut feeling.

Is there a "Plan"?

2010-10-29T12:02:00.002+11:00

Makes you wonder, who are they playing against?

I try not to nit pick about other people's beliefs, but I was thinking last night while responding to the PBP topic I chose to start out with. The question was, "What makes you a pagan?" and among those answers I provided, I included that I believe that we make our own fate, and that nothing is predetermined.

I remember often times being told, "God has a plan for us/you," "It's not what God wanted," and my personal favorite, "Don't worry, it's all part of God's plan."

Based on my own personal beliefs (which are, to say, the ones that feel the most 'right' to me, but may not necessarily be what someone else believes), the idea of God and Goddess having a plan for me kind of makes me giggle. To me, God and Goddess are always there, whether we choose to interact with them or not. It is I who choose what I do, and to think any different would send me into a spiraling depression (is that just me, or would others do the same?).

That all being said, I took the liberty of re-versing myself on what the Bible says God's plan is for us. In the process, I discovered this website, which outlines the general idea fairly clearly. Some lines may be an actual quote from the page, so be sure to drop by and make sure I didn't miss anything important.

Lengthy, read on if you wish.

As we all may have read at some moment in life, or heard from someone else, in the beginning God created man. Man was represented by Adam, and from Adam's rib Eve was created, representing women. We are told that God created man in his likeness, which is probably why people ended up living so darned long in the beginning of the Bible (several hundred years... I think it's a metaphor for 'if you live in God's path, you'll have eternal life in Him,' which is actually a really nice message).

Man is given the ability to create, to have a sense of justice, to intercede, to rescue, to show mercy, to forgive, to have a relationship with god, to receive the Holy Spirit (God), and to be destined for immortality, which, as the webpage says, is quite Godly.

I can see what they're saying. We as a people have been blessed with such awesome capabilities, from constructive to destructive. We are god-like in a way.

The page goes on to say that the very first commandment in the Bible is "be fertile and multiply." Of course, live and flourish is the message here. The trees do it, the grass does it, animals do it, of course we should follow suit and do the same.

The first commandment is soon followed by, "Fill the earth and subdue it". Now... I understand being fertile and multiplying. To the point where we have filled the Earth, I think that is pushing it a bit, but people will be people, and we are getting larger as a population every day - it's just in our nature.

"Subdue it," however... I'm not sure what they meant by that, so I googled the word "subdue" and got the following results:

repress: put down by force or intimidation;
suppress: to put down by force or authority;
mortify: hold within limits and control;
overcome: get on top of, deal with successfully;
subordinate: make subordinate, dependent, or subservient;
tame: correct by punishment or discipline;

These definitions are from here.

I understand using the land to be able to successfully grow food, and to build homes upon. Those are a given. But I was still a tad confused about what they meant, so I clicked on their own definition:

"Even in the most industrialized nations, vast territories of land exist which are either, barren, rugged, mountainous, swampy or forested. In essence, they are un-subdued, waiting for a sufficient population to bring forth human forces to subdue them. For example, there are un-subdued deserts and mountains in California, enormous forests and plains in Canada, mountains and dry-lands in Mexico, jungles throughout the tropics around the globe and vast territories in Siberia, all waiting to be subdued. These are just a few of the many examples. Every country in the world has un-subdued land, even Bangladesh with its 120 million people. "

Something about this just doesn't sit right with me. The Earth is our home, where we have built generations upon generations. We ask so much of it every day, and similarly to in the Children's book The Giving Tree, Earth gives and gives and gives.

So, according to this person's interpretation, we should have our population reach such epic numbers that we need to destroy and completely use up every resource in our world, and populate every inch of the planet while destroying the forests in Canada, the jungles throughout the tropics around the globe and vast territories in Siberia... Because, you know... they're all just waiting to be subdued. And the commandments that go with God's plan are still valid, because there are lots of resources and much unused land still.

Chastity is important to God's plan. "You shall not commit adultery." This can be covered under the Wiccan Rede's last bit - "And harm it none, do what you will." If cheating on your lover is going to hurt them, you shouldn't do it. If sleeping with an animal will hurt something, you shouldn't do it. (Why it would even cross someone's mind in the first place, I have no idea.)

The only real problem I have with the plan's importance of Chastity is that people are encouraged to be chaste, even after marriage. Sex is an act of love, and a means for humans to expand our population (which is a good idea, right?). Apparently, Chastity promotes fertility and life, and according to the Catholic Church, the following are mortal sins:

Masturbation
Oral Sex
Fornication (Un-married sex)
Adultery
Male/Female Homosexual Genital Acts
Sodomy
Contraception (Why use a connie when you never have sex)
Re-marriage after Divorce

All of these "sins" are the foundation of the "culture of death," as opposed to the fertility and life that Chastity promotes.

I get the idea of being married before dedicating yourself to the one you will live with for as long as your love shall live between you. It's a very sweet sentiment, which says to me "Make sure you love this person before you give it away," which is something that people could learn from these days, no doubt.

But I also believe that before marriage was even thought up, people were sexing. Before we could even speak, we were doing the horizontal monster mash, with our hairy apelike selves. I know that this is not an argument that anyone can win, but I hold the belief that if there is love in it (and if it does not harm someone else), sex is fine.

Masturbation? Fine. Oral sex? Fine. Fornication? Yup. Sodomy? If you go for that sort of thing. Contraception? Mandatory, not only between straight couples, but between gay couples as well. Male/Female Homosexual Genital Acts? Go for it. It's not my business, and if you love your partner, I'm all for you guys going all the way. Re-marriage after Divorce? How lonely would you be if you didn't?

The only ones I see a problem with are cheating on your lover, inappropriate relations with children, inappropriate relations with animals, and inappropriate relationships with family members. Those are all morally wrong, harmful to others, and disgusting in my opinion. So I agree with you there, Bible.

There are a few more paragraphs here, outlining the idea that marriage is between two people only, which is understandable, though I believe that it should not be limited to only a man and a woman. "Be fertile and multiply," as it appears to me, is linked to "Fill the earth and subdue it" which I'm pretty certain gay and lesbian couples can do, too. If straight couples are so willing to give up their children to Adoption, why shouldn't other couples, be they straight or gay, be able to take over and show parental love to those children?

The Christian God's plan continues on to say that humans (through Jesus) become children of God, enabling them to fulfill the demands of chastity and generous procreativity, to be filled with the Holy Spirit, to subdue the earth through working, engineering, farming, ripping down the homes of the animals we share the planet with, etc. Sodomy is totally not allowed, and a few cities were destroyed because of it. Apparently this guy named Onan was killed by God as well - he married his dead brother's wife which was totally o.k. by God, but was killed after he pulled out while having sex with her, because he did not want to have children in his brother's name.

After that, Tamar (the widow... twice...) went on to have (illicit) sex with Judah, her father-in-law, and bore twins. Even though they had sex with each other, without being married, they had twins, and apparently that made everything ok, as neither were killed by God. Only Onan was killed, because he defrauded the marriage of its procreative purpose.

I agree that children are a blessing. They really are innocent and joyful, and they do enrich people's/their parents' lives by even simply existing. We can all learn a lot from children, things we haven't remembered since we were children ourselves. The reason given here as to why children are a blessing, however, is because not only do they do the above, but they also become adult inventors that solve the world's problems and adult apostles to proclaim the 'Word'. They also claim that large populations raise the standard of living by providing a wide variety of goods and services, which are provided at a lower cost per person - the more people the better. The claim is that the US is the third most populous nation on earth after China and India. Population and a free market made it prosperous, and children grow up and create prosperity.

(Sips coffee).

More people can be good or bad, and can improve or decrease the standard of living just as easily as the wind can change.

I was watching a documentary the other day - Slumming It, with Kevin McCloud. It was just part one, of a two parter (or so I hear), and I only caught the second half of it, but it was absolutely amazing.

He went to Dharavi in India, which is apparently the world's biggest slum. He spent time with people there, got to know how they live on a day to day basis, explored their lives. The home he stayed in had upwards of 20 people living in it at any one time. The space they have is very limited, and the living conditions (in his opinion at least) were not the best. He saw rats, bugs, people vomiting out their windows, washing being done right outside the front door, washing being done in sewer water. He was woken up by a rat crawling around his trousers. Children in crisp looking prep school uniforms ran through sewage.

The weird thing was, even through all of this gross stuff that he saw, through all the possibilities of illness, the residents of Dharavi are doing better than a lot of other places out there (well, numbers wise that is).

McCloud noted the sense of community in the area he stayed at, something which we do not often see in Western society anymore (even though the Bible asks to love thy neighbor). Eighty-five per cent of the residents there have jobs, and crime is low. He interviewed one of the school girls who lived in the house he was staying at, and she confirmed that she could walk home late at night and have no problem with crime. 15,000 illegal factories exist there, including 300 bakeries which do not advertise their origins. Society without regulations and taxes has accomplished much, despite the fact that, erm, bout 4,000 cases of deadly infectious diseases are treated a day there.

More people doesn't necessarily mean better standards of living, but I do agree that it can mean an increase in productivity, even if you're only earning a few cents an hour making random parts to ship off somewhere else. The people in the documentary seemed so happy to just be working, even if they were working in less than decent environments. Anywhere else, people seem to dislike working, though they probably earn many times more than the people of Dharavi.

I kind of started rambling there, but I hope my thoughts kind of make sense. What I'm trying to say is that while a lot of the basic ideas of Christianity make sense to me, and while I can relate to some of them, I definitely do not agree with the idea of a plan being predetermined, the idea that we need to basically destroy the earth, or a lot of of the views on sex. I believe that we all were given the ability to choose for a reason, and just as Christians can choose to commit any one of those sins mentioned above or not, we choose the paths our life takes us.

If I have any readers out there, what are your ideas on a "plan"? Do you believe there is one? If so, why? If not, what makes you think that?

☽☉☾

Weddings, Beltane, and decorating, oh my

2010-10-29T00:28:00.002+11:00

There's us and to the left is Janina, who was our lovely celebrant.

Good news, everyone. I got hitched! Will and I got married on the 22nd of October. We are excited to finally have entered such a wonderful stage in our lives together. Once we started talking to each other those three years ago, I remember distinctly thinking: This is it. He's the one. And yup. I was right. :) I'm the happiest I've ever been.

Also good news: not too long until Will and I get to go to the US! I'm super excited to introduce him to everyone in my family stateside, as well as my friends. He's looking forward to the trip as well - though he insists on getting the majority of the window seats on the flights...

Even more good news: Beltane is coming up (for us down under), Halloween as well, and I am super excited. Growing up, I loved Halloween, it was my favorite holiday. It still is. Though now I am preparing to celebrate Beltane, a majority of my 31st will be taken up by watching some good ol' scary movies with my husband and hoping some Trick or Treaters drop by. I even bought a little witch hat to wear, ha ha.

For Beltane I think I may encourage Will to drive us out to Wangi for a little bit of a walk in nature. I'm not used to Aussie seasons yet, and I have to say this winter felt like an autumn or a spring to me. I mean heck, my neighbor's flowers were blooming all winter. But I am beginning to notice the little things - really gorgeous flowers were blooming on the side of the road today, it made me want to pull over and take a look but we needed to get to Tuggerah to get my ring resized before huge amounts of people started arriving for late shopping night.

I have been thinking about what I want to do with the spare room now. I think I want to add some colorful cloths, lots of pillows, some small tables, assemble some speakers there, and turn it into a place for relaxing and meditation. I've been feeling the need to find a comfortable place to do that for a little while now, and Will doesn't seem opposed to the idea. A little bit of color and rope lights would make that place so much more welcoming and comfortable.

☽☉☾

Updates!

2010-08-26T03:30:00.000+10:00

Levielle, my Paladin. Ain't she cute? :P

Time seems to be going by fairly quickly. It's strange to think that in just two months I'm going to be changing my name as a result of being married to the most wonderful man on the planet. I'm happy, anxious, excited, everything that someone should be when such a big life event is approaching. I am ecstatic that I'm going to be spending the rest of my life with Will, the guy I met while questing in the Arathi Highlands, haha. :) Now we can get into some other fun things that have been happening lately:

There seems to be a ghost or a spirit in our house. Yes, weird I know. I've seen something before, a vision of a man in the back seat of my car once when I was driving in Silverdale. Our eyes met through the rear view mirror for a second, and in that second I gathered a few details of his face, but once I physically turned around to see him, he was gone.

I didn't see the spirit in our house, though. Will and I were laying in bed together (as people do when they're sleepy), and I got up for a moment and started walking to the other room. Before I could do anything else, I heard Will in the other room gasping and failing to complete whatever sentence he was trying to say. I walked back into the bedroom and asked him what had happened, and after a moment he replied that he had seen something walking through the hallway behind me while it was still dark.

He described to me a figure that seemed to be a bunch of rags chucked together in the shape of a person (in his own words), with a faint dark green glow to it. It seemed to glide to the right down the hallway. I didn't see it, but I believe him.

Since then, we've had some weird things going on. A pair of hands left marks on the inside of our shower (neither Will nor I recall doing it ourselves), which was pretty creepy. We also discovered a can of corn that was left open on the counter. Neither of us had opened it, and to our knowledge, we don't sleepwalk. So... yup!

We also have had a problem with our Visa. The wrong sort of application got sent in apparently. Long story short, we're coming to America to visit! :D

We're planning to come by around November 22ish, just in time for Thanksgiving, and will be staying til about Decenber 13 or 14. During this time, we'll be spending time with my family, which is really exciting. I'm happy Will is going to get to meet everybody, and vice versa.

We're going to be setting up a website for our wedding (even though it's going to be EXTREMELY casual and in our back yard), with a donation paypal account attached. We have been living together for a while and so we don't really need a lot (aside from a washing machine, but we're going to manage that on our own I think), but would like to have some money for our (horribly expensive) trip to the US.

Anyway, that's about it for now.

-Manda-

So this is what I've been doing lately.

2010-08-04T07:22:00.000+10:00

A couple of nights ago I decided that I wanted to learn how to create Mods for Oblivion. And so I looked up a few tutorials, a handy wiki, and bam. Here I am, two days later, creating custom NPCs, adding dialogue, and whipping up fancy houses with neat stuff inside.

It's not a lot, but I'm still very proud of myself. Usually with tough stuff like this, I give up. But I think that I can dedicate myself enough to get through this, and at least gain a basic understanding of modding for Oblivion.

I'm thinking of what sort of things to put in there. One of the ideas I've had is a small little town, with cute little quests and stuff, just as a little bit of a trial and error sort of thing. Hopefully I don't mess up the game, haha. Another idea is something crazy and detailed, definitely something that I'd have to spend many many hours on. I'm going to give that some time, and allow myself room to learn new things before I attempt to take on any huge projects yet.

Aside from crazy amounts of Oblivion, I've been doing nothing much... I made a tuna bake last night... it turned out alright. I have been freezing my butt off all night, for the past few months, and it sucks. It doesn't matter if I have the heater going, my hands and fingers stay like icicles and I'm shivering and shaking the whole time. At least spring is on its way. I hope.

Imbolc was a few days ago. I didn't really do much... Mostly just spent some time alone thinking about things. Being thankful the sun will be around more often, and that I will soon feel a bit warmer. Wondering how things are back home, thinking about where I am now... You know.

Got the news a few days ago that Will's sister thinks she's preggers again. Yay! I'm happy for her and Ewen. :) My brother seems to be doing well in his military school thing. I saw a few pics that my Mom sent me, he looks very intent on what he's doing. I'm happy for him, too.

Jeez I am freezing.

I had a very strange dream last night... It was very lengthy, but a few things stood out to me. One was the presence of lots of people from high school. Another was a man collecting different colored dice. There was a very strong theme of death and danger in the dream... A few people got killed, some got squished in a sewer by a trap wall, some impaled, some drowned, or got devoured by flesh eating fish. Someone even got electrocuted at a station (much like stations on the bridge of Star Trek episodes, haha). Apparently Will is a tall, fat black dude, because my fiancee died as well in the dream, but it wasn't Will.

I saw old crushes from High School as well... They asked for hugs after I told them I thought they had hated me. I also talked to people that I associated as "in band" in my dream, and we sat on an island near a street, in metal foldout chairs, all facing North West. At the end, young and elderly women alike danced and skipped widdershins around tables, holding their skirts out so as to create the illusion that their skirts encircled the entire table. And then at the end I was a mix between Robert Pattinson and Keanu Reeves, and some other famous guy came up to me, we took off our movie costumes, and then laughed because we were finally free of all the fangirls.

Yeah, it was a strange one. It's full of lots of juicy stuff though. I'll have to think about what it meant.

In other news, my neighbors/the previous tenants of the house William and I are renting still haven't updated their addresses. I am getting letters for them about 4-5 days out of the week. It is getting ridiculous. I am very tempted to horde their mail until the end of each week. They had a slip of paper in my mailbox that let the owner of the neighbor's dogs know that one of them had been picked up, that the phone number on its chip was wrong, and that they would have a several hundred dollar fine for it. I gave that to them as soon as I could, I couldn't bring myself to not give it to them.

Anyway... I guess that's enough of an update for now.

Ta,
Manda

You are now neutral with Mandaconda.

2010-06-27T19:57:00.004+10:00

http://mandaconda.blogspot.com/

That's where my home is now for my WoW musings, feel free to drop by anytime.

Calm Down, Bro

2010-06-16T21:56:00.003+10:00

So I had a fun time tonight. I was tanking (that's me, Thadea) on my druid, having a fairly hard time keeping aggro since I was a few lvls lower than the others, but more or less keeping it together. We were doing Mara, and we finished, killing Princess. The Blackstone Ring dropped, making me really happy, because I have been needing to replace Archaedic Stone of Intellect, which has been sitting cozily in my tank gear.

====================================
QUICK ANNOUNCEMENT
====================================
I'm creating a blog for WoW stuff in particular. It is here.
Thank yahhh
====================================

Then this happens.

Let me say this slowly. It is a game. And as such, I can literally roll on whatever the heck I want.

I needed this ring because it had Stam and Hit on it, which I need (I keep missing, and I don't really need Intellect as a tank.)

But the fact that this kid got so wound up about it made me feel kind of sick to my stomach. I gave the kid his ring, though I do regret it now. I didn't realize that he had won BOTH rolls until afterwards. Greedy little bastard.

The thing that irritated me the most though, was that he didn't, at all, apologize for acting like a complete fuckhead. Well buddy, I hope you're happy. And I'll try to find some happiness knowing that someday (probably soon) you'll get creamed by a mob because you can't watch your threat.

Sigh. I'll get a new ring someday.

Have Your Cake...

2010-06-07T00:27:00.000+10:00

To "have your cake and eat it too" can be simply translated into, "you can't always have it both ways," as I understand it.

As I type this, I am sitting at my computer desk, wondering about what life has in store for me. What am I to become, what will I accomplish?

I want so many things in this life. I want to lead a guild in WoW, but I also want to follow a leader. I want to be a teacher, or a psychologist, but I also want to be a small business owner. I want to live in America, but I also want to live here in Australia. So many choices, so many appetizing looking slices of cake, I'm not sure which to choose.

This has gotten me thinking. Any one decision I make will affect me for the rest of my life. When I look back to my past, when I remember that 17 year old girl graduating from High School, I notice a few things. At that time, I had no idea what I wanted in life. I didn't expect to start playing a MMORPG, and I certainly didn't expect to fall for that mage I met in the Arathi Highlands. I had no idea that I would someday fly off to another country, much less come to live in it.

If I hadn't fallen for William those years ago, I wouldn't be here in Australia. If I hadn't switched realms to play on Frostmane US, I wouldn't have met him in the first place. If I hadn't asked for a copy of the 10-day free trial to WoW from K., I wouldn't have started playing. If I hadn't tried out for color guard in 11th grade, I wouldn't have met K. If I hadn't become close friends with this person and that person, I wouldn't have done this or that. It goes on.

One decision influences so many other outcomes in life. It is only now that I have come to realize this. And I feel completely and utterly ridiculous for only figuring this out now.

What is the next step in my life? What decision will I make, and what outcomes will it produce? If I choose to stay in Australia, I will most likely never see my friends and family again. But if I choose to move to the US, I will likely never see William's family again. If we have kids earlier than expected, I'll probably never have my business. But if I choose to study, will I have kids too late?

It's a lot to think about.

A New Fun Thing To Do

2010-05-25T22:23:00.002+10:00

My last post was talking about the upcoming expansion of WoW, Cataclysm. It got me in the mood to play a bit more again. After getting my Ambassador Title, I decided it was time to start working on my Explorer title, as I've been pretty hesitant to raid lately, and really that's all my warlock's good for at the moment.

So, I've been wandering around Azeroth aimlessly for the last few days. I managed to explore the whole of the Eastern Kingdoms, which is good, but I'll have to go through and get pictures of the places I missed earlier.

((CLICK HERE for the link to Calm Before The Storm, my new blog detailing Azeroth pre-Cataclysm))

Wait, Pictures? Yes. Pictures. I am taking pictures of my travels across Azeroth, to kind of get a last good look at the world before Cataclysm drops a huge evil dragon on top of it and wrecks up the place. I've started with making a (for funsies) video, which is now on Youtube. You can check it out here.

I've also begun a secondary blog to this one, focusing on Azeroth pre-Cataclysm, and putting way better quality pictures up there than the ones on the video I mentioned before. It's named Calm Before the Storm, so don't forget to check it out.

Well I'll update a little bit more later, I've got a few things to do before I can sit down and really get into it. :)

-Manda-

Pre-Cata Excitement

2010-05-21T11:18:00.000+10:00

First, let me apologize for my geekiness. I have played WoW since 2007. I've taken a few "WoW Breaks" over the years, in which I go several months without touching the thing, but I always find myself coming back to it every time.

World of Warcraft's had two expansions over the years. The first was World of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade, which brought to us the Draenei and Blood Elves, a level cap of 70, flying mounts in the new area called the Outlands, and the sudden realization that all that gear you worked so hard to get was now practically worthless.

The second was World of Warcraft: Wrath of the Lich King. Much has changed in our world since the release of WotLK. We've encountered Death Knights, ventured to level 80, Northrend, and have had so many dungeons opened up to us that we don't even know what to do with them.

The next expansion to come out will be Cataclysm. With this one, we'll see the coming of two new races - Worgen and Goblins. There will be new race and class combinations, such as gnome priests, blood elf warriors, and human hunters. There'll be a new secondary profession available. The level cap will be increased to 85. We will be able to fly in the original land of Azeroth. Several previously inaccessible areas will become available, such as Hyjal, Gilneas, and the Lost Isles. Needless to say, I am so excited for Cataclysm.

The picture above seems to be of Westfall, the area to the West of Elwynn Forest in the Eastern Kingdoms. I've got to say, this sight in the eyes of anyone else may come across as a terrible occurrence, something awful. But to the rest of us nerds out there, it just brings forth copious amounts of glee and giddiness. We just can't help it. We're just so excited.

- Manda -

Woot! A Quick Update

2010-05-20T01:20:00.000+10:00

Our immigration agent sent our visa application this week, and when I last checked, it was on its way to its destination. Yay! I'm so happy to have all the paperwork and stress of that off my chest. Now the most we've got to worry about is the approval of the visa application and repaying the loan we had to take out to pay for all of it while staying afloat with other stuff.

We discovered a book store in Sydney by Central when we went to pay off our application fee. It's called "Basement Books" or something to that effect. It's under the street, in a pedestrian tunnel thing that go to the trams I think. I don't know for sure. But the prices there on books were AMAZING. I bought a new book, The Complete Illustrated Encyclopedia of Witchcraft and Practical Magic by Susan Greenwood and Raje Airey. I found it laying amongst books about dream interpretation, and figured that it would be a good read.

When I got a chance to actually flip through it at home though, I found that it was actually a great buy for what I got it for. It's got histories and information about different sorts of magic from many different paths. It's got information on important people who have influenced current religions and practices that include witchcraft, basic information about the Goddess and the God, Correspondences with planets, elements, and the Zodiac, simple little ideas for spells, and so much more.

Also, I would like to add that my paladin, Manderconda, has levelled to 76. If I keep going with her, she will become my 3rd level 80 character. I'm thinking of transferring her to an RP server sometime (I currently play on Frostmane, a PVP server), when we can afford it. I don't know why, but I just have these strange urges to RP sometimes. I've even gone so far as to reserve my names on the server I want to transfer to, so that I'll a. be forced to rename my pally when I do move her over, and b. have the name I want for her available when the time comes for her to transfer realms.

Lastly, I have been suffering from a fairly bad cold for the past few days. It's been pretty rough, started with a fever and a sore throat, then evolved into sniffles, coughs, and eventually the loss of the decent-sounding parts of my voice, leaving me to sound like a frog. Or a boy going through the puberty. Either way, it's just awful.

But I'm on the upswing of recovery, I think. I've been coughing up yucky stuff (eww.) but my voice is slowly starting to recover and I am not as sniffly as I've been in the past. Also, my skin doesn't hurt! :) So that's something to be happy with.

Well, I should head off to bed now. :) Night night, world.

- Manda -

Blog of Shadows - Introduction/Book of Shadows

2010-05-19T23:41:00.000+10:00

I'd like to add a feature to my (still very new) blog, to maybe spruce it up a bit and make it a little more interesting. I will call it, "Blog of Shadows." (My apologies in advance if I have unknowingly trampled upon your own blog's name.)

I've been studying Wicca for the last year and a bit (truth be told I cannot remember when I began my studies, but it feels like it's been a while). During this time I have read several books, including ones like Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner by Scott Cunningham, and The Spiral Dance, by Starhawk.

While I'm not about to scan pages from my own personal Grimoire into the marvelous series of tubes known as the interwebs, I thought it would probably be interesting if I tried to share a bit of what I have learned with those of you who may be curious.

A Book of Shadows may also be known as a Book of Illumination, or a Grimoire. Some people like to keep their Grimoires digital, as they may favor typing to writing by hand.

Essentially, a Book of Shadows is a book in which neopagans of many different sorts may write about their religion, beliefs, rituals, and spells.

In most traditions, the book may be regarded as a religious text. In some covens, a member who has been initiated may copy down, by hand, the contents of the book belonging to the High Priestess or Priest which initiated them. To others, it serves as a personal journal detailing the bits of information they have learned, the beliefs which they hold, spells, rituals, dreams they've had, and much more.

My Grimoire currently is a giant, clunky, lime green colored 2-ring binder with a few different sections. While it's not as pretty as I'd like, it's definitely good in that if I need to add something in somewhere, I can just click open the rings and slip a paper in. Though, I do long for one of those huge leather bound tomes with awesome designs and metal clasps.

It's written (almost) completely by hand, except for a few correspondence charts which I made on my computer. They say that writing it by hand puts more meaning into it, and thusly more power. It also helps you to remember the things that you write down. I find this to be very true. Anyway, back to the different sections of my own Grimoire.

The first section consists of a calendar marking several dates of interest: the moon's phases, the greater and lesser Sabbats, and other little plans I may have pertaining to my religious aspects of life.

The second section basically acts as a reference section for me, when I don't want to pull out all my books. It holds information such as how to set up an altar, what tools are usually used for and what their representations are (though I find it easier to stick to a few items), information about moon phases and their meanings, dates and information about the Sabbats, correspondences on various topics, etc. It is the biggest part of my Grimoire.

The Third section is my Ritual/Spellwork section. It acts as a personal record of spells I have done, spells I may want to do someday, the outcome of said spells, etc.

The Fourth section is my Personal and Dream Journal section. It's just as it sounds, a record of events in my life and of dreams I managed to write about. Needless to say, my handwriting in the dream journal pages is atrocious.

The Fifth and final section of my Grimoire is my Recipes section. So far it's the emptiest. I've only got a few recipes in here, one I snagged from CharmingPixieFlora on Youtube, and a few I've grabbed from one of my Scott Cunningham books. I really hope to fill this section someday.

But that's enough about my own Grimoire. If you've got one, and are willing to share, tell me how yours is? Does it inspire you in any way when you write in it?

I suppose that's enough for right now, if you've got any questions feel free to comment and I'll try to answer you as soon as possible.

- Manda -

Nightscreeching

2010-05-18T18:09:00.000+10:00

Imagine yourself sitting in a chair at night, enjoying an episode of one of your favorite shows, reading a good book, or talking to a friend on your computer. All is well, calm, and peaceful. You are sipping your favorite coffee while listening to your favorite tunes, snuggly in your jacket on a chilly Winter's night.

Now imagine that perfect moment of happiness being ripped from you like a band-aid from your skin.

Instead of listening to your favorite show or music, you are now hearing the sounds of some crazy teenagers revving their car's engines so loudly that your windows shake. They scream random profanities at your house. And to top it off, they are holding their car's horn down the entire length of your street.

This has been happening lately. Usually every weekend, at night, someone will rev their engines loudly while holding their horn down and screaming in the direction of my house (it could be a neighbor, but I have my reasons to believe it's me). It is startling, for such loud and obnoxious noises to appear from nowhere, and to be honest kind of frightening.

Additionally, I found crap by my mailbox yesterday. I don't mean crap like, "Oh look at that crap just sitting there," or "Move that crap out of the way please," oh no. I mean like someone took a dump next to my mailbox. Will insists that it was a dog. But I don't think this is the case. For one, it had corn in it. Two, it was not in the shape of dog crap. This was a human turd, and it was both appalling and disgusting that someone could do something like that to someone else.

We got rid of it (yuck yuck yuckkkk), but I'm still kind of worried. You see, the thing is that I'm living in Australia right now. And while I know that most Australians are genuinely good people, I also know that there are jackasses out there. I also know that this is a fairly small community, and William and I have have no problem noticing where certain cars live, when we recognize them from the store. My problem with this, is that I'm American. I sound American, I act American (I guess), and I'm sure that other people can pick up on the fact that yes, I am American.

I am kind of worried. I mean, all it takes is someone recognizing the "DC" shoes logo on the back of Will's car and finding where the car parks at night after hearing me talking at the store. I don't know what sort of people are out there. Maybe it's not because I'm American. Maybe it's because I'm overweight. Or maybe because I have brown hair. Or because I'm Pagan and somehow they knew that. Who knows, it could be anything.

Next time it could be a rock through the window. Or someone breaking in and taking our things, or beating me up, or something. I honestly felt safer walking down empty streets in Seattle at night than I do living here at times, in this small little neighborhood.

I don't know, maybe I'm being a little bit paranoid. Maybe someone just had to take a dump and didn't care where they did it. Maybe the cars are honking at the truckie across the street. Maybe Will was right, and it WAS a dog, that had gotten leftovers, ate corn, and took a weird lookin crap by our mailbox. Maybe it's just the people who applied for the house we're renting, and are pissed that they didn't get it.

Either way, I'm about 30% closer to wanting to move house again. Sigh.. :/

- Manda -

It's been a while...

2010-05-11T23:55:00.000+10:00

It has been quite a while since my last post; several months in fact. I've been pretty busy with things lately, as you might have guessed... But I suppose I should start updating this more often, so here goes.

In March this year I took a flight to Australia again (hooray!) and have been living here in NSW since, with my fiancée. We have our own place (finally) and our prospective marriage visa application should be ready to send in by the end of this week, so that's exciting! We've got to head into Sydney to pay the $2,525 fee that it costs, and then afterwards we've got to bring our receipt back to our awesome agent E., and then he can send it in via courier.

After that, I plan on finding work here. But if I'm going to do that successfully, I've got to learn to drive on the left side of the road. And, we've got to get a car. And, pay our agent's fees ($2,200). Anddddd somehow manage to come across an affordable washing machine. Maybe a pantry. Or a bookshelf.

Our wedding date is set for the 22nd of October. We've been having a little bit of trouble trying to figure out what we want, ceremony wise. I've been looking at lots of different ideas online, and a nighttime ceremony would be awesome. The full moon is the next day, so maybe it can happen.

I've been spending a bit of time trying to find myself again, spiritually. It's been kind of stressful lately, with lots of money going this way and that, frustrations about so-and-so and this thing here... I've been trying to set aside some time every few days to just sit and have some quiet time with the Lord and Lady.

The other night, I was particularly upset, but found that when I set up three tealites, some eucalyptus incense for healing, and just sat and talked out loud, I felt a lot better. I cried a bit, which felt good to get it out. I felt so much better afterwards.

On another note... I do miss my friends from Washington. I wish they would contact me more often, so that I don't feel so... I don't know. Abandoned? I think that's the right word. I feel like I always have to be the one to initiate talking to people. It saddens me, because I truly enjoyed these people's company, but I guess I shouldn't worry too much... Sometimes I forget that people have their own lives to attend to, and I shouldn't be upset that they are busy.

In other news, I've been missing WoW a bit lately. I haven't had the best internet access in the last few weeks, since we've moved and it's been taking Telstra freakin' AGES to get their act together. I miss the people, for the most part. I do not, however, miss raiding.

Speaking of video games, I just finished Dragon Age Origins. I have to say, that was probably the most fun game I have played in a long time. You forget how intense video games can be sometimes when you've been playing only WoW for a while. Yeah, yeah, call me nerdy. I don't care! I loved it, and I enjoy taking pride in the fact that I kept my character and Alasteir's relationship ALIVE until the very end, baby! Yeah!

Anyway, I suppose this is enough of an update until next time. :)
Until we meet again,

-Manda-

Happy (Late) New Year!

2010-01-13T09:07:00.000+11:00

Happy new year, everyone. The wheel keeps on turning, and so another year has gone and passed through our lives. Never again, will we live through 2009! I think that might be a good thing.

What's new for me? Well, I'm working retail again, of course, and am slowly paying off my mound of credit card debt. It's frustrating, but hopefully it will be all gone this year.

This year I am also planning on returning to the wonderful land down under. Possibly in the next few months, even. 2010 sure does promise a few exciting things for me.

Let's get to the topic of the big R... Resolutions. Have you ever made a New Years Resolution and actually gone through with it? I don't think I have, ever. Well, last year I told myself that I would read more books. I think I made it through 3.7 novels over the year, so I guess that's a win. Kind of.

In the spirit of making promises I probably won't even keep to myself, let us continue with my resolution list.

1. The usual-choose healthier foods to eat and cut down on junk. I've actually begun this already, and I'm hoping that it lasts! I've been drinking much more water, cutting my soda down to one a day, as opposed to like 4. As for the junk food... haha. I've actually done really badly with that. I'm ordering pizza as we speak. :(

2. Be closer to the Earth... I plan on learning to garden this spring, or, this coming spring in Australia, hopefully. I want to be heaps closer to the Earth this year, as my world has been a little crazy lately...

3. Read moar! Finish The Talisman, read Cujo, and start on the Tommyknockers. At least get those down, please, future me!

4. The big E. Exercise more. Exercise = healthier = happier. So why not, eh?

I just hope that I'll remember these things, and actually have something to show for when 2011 rolls around. Or 2012. Or 2013.

Oh, Indiana.

2009-11-19T15:36:00.000+11:00

So Indianapolis Public Schools are in the spotlight because of something that I think is pretty annoying. You all remember the school library when you were growing up. For me, it was a source of education that I could turn to outside of school hours. Thankfully, it wasn't my only way to learn about other things in the world, as my parents never put any parental locks on my computer, but I know that this was not always the case, and is not always the case, for many teenagers out there today.

Parents all over are finding comfort in new technologies that allow them to set what can and can not be seen by their child on the computer. They're a way to keep your 14 year old from looking at porn, from learning how to make bombs, from seeing graphic images of death and destruction... to keep them from looking at... other... religions?

Yup, that's what I was headed for. And I apologise for all the crazy OMG RELIGION RAWR posts as of late, (well just this one and the last, but it has to be said) but OOH when I get started, it's hard to get me to slow down.

Indianapolis Public Schools have a public .PDF file that shows what they allow and do not allow their students to search for while using the school computers. A lot of it is stuff that makes sense: no porn, no alcohol, no drugs, no chatting and IM-ing, games, hacking sites, etc etc. All that makes perfect sense. If a student were to log onto a school computer after school, it still makes sense that they would be restricted from looking at porn and alcohol and etc etc etc.

But I found a few pretty little gems in the PDF file, not sure if you all saw it the first time. Here, allow me.

LGBT: Sites that provide information regarding, support, promote, or cater to one's sexual orientation or gender identity including but not limited to lesbian, gay, bi-sexual, and transgender sites.

Now, I'm aware that little Timmy searching about homosexuality during the school day is probably not the best, as he should be working on his schoolwork. But I don't believe this should be blocked. What happens when Timmy, whose parents are very against homosexuality, has strange feelings about his own sexuality, and can't turn to his home computer for help? How does a Public School have the right to label this as wrong and worth banning?

Alternative Spirituality/Belief: Sites that promote and provide information on religions such as Wicca, Witchcraft, or Satanism. Occult practices, atheistic views, voodoo rituals or any other form of mysticism are represented here. Includes that endorse or offer methods, means of instruction, or other resources to affect or influence real events through the use of spells, incantations, curses and magic powers. This category includes sites which discuss or deal with paranormal or unexplained events.

Notice something missing? I did too. Christianity anyone? Oh wait, that's not alternative spirituality. A public school system is telling kids that Wicca, Witchcraft, Satanism, Shamanism, and Voodooism, are all WRONG. WRONG WRONG WRONG. How dare you search for those filthy things? Don't you know this is a private schoo-- OH WAIT. That's right. Public. Hm.

Honestly, while I do believe that if the options aren't open at home, kids should be allowed to learn more from the services provided at their school, if you're going to block one religion, you better damn well block them all. That means no Jewish websites. No Christian websites. No Muslim websites. Nothing. Nada. It's either let the Pagans be seen, or block them all.

The kicker here is that they include a little thing about sites that encourage Hate and Racism. Here it is:

Violence/Hate/Racism: Sites that depict extreme physical harm to people or property, or that advocate or provide instructions on how to cause such harm. Also includes sites that advocate, depict hostility or aggression toward, or denigrate an individual or group on the basis of race, religion, gender, nationality, ethnic origin, or other involuntary characteristics.

I'm sorry if I'm taking this a little too far, but it seems to me like this little ban list is denigrating some of the school's students, based on their religion, gender, and involuntary characteristics such as their sexuality.

This is where I'm at for this: Unblock the LGBT websites. Either unblock the Pagan and Atheist oriented websites or block them all, including the Christian ones. This is a public school, not a private one, and you can't go around picking and choosing which religions are good or bad based on your own feelings toward the matter. Stop being so oppressive, Indiana.

-Manda-

Naughty or Nice? That's right, it's the AFA again.

2009-11-18T16:39:00.000+11:00

Happy melodies chiming about roasting chestnuts while you shop... Gorgeous and gaudy ornaments dazzling from every corner of a store... The gentle jingling of money dropping into the till... Yeah, you guessed it... It's Christmastime again.

Doesn't it seem like that time of year comes earlier and earlier? November 1st rolls around and suddenly everyone and their dog is decked out in winter merchandise, calling out, "Thank you, and Happy Holidays!"

Well, that's how it should be, anyway.

I'm sure you remember the tales of Christmasses past; the so-called "War on Christmas," the "Christmas Controversy," or "Censoring Christmas" because apparently Jesus is the "Reason for the Season" (as though he personally called out and said, "Yeah, so, I wasn't born in December, but don't worry, you all can lay claim to this month. It's not like the other religions out there matter, anyway." Which we all know would be completely silly.)

According to the AFA, companies out there aren't doing enough to celebrate Christ through their advertising. That's basically the gist of it. They have a web page where AFA fans can submit stores to be entered into their Naughty or Nice list, which basically ranks companies based on whether or not they are "Christmas-Friendly" or if they are "Censoring Christmas."

Laughing yet? I'm serious, check it out.

Now, I recognize that not all Christians out there are crazy sensitive about whether or not Jesus is being celebrated enough through the word of companies trying to sell their merchandise, but the ones who have an issue with this at all are the ones who need to be pointed out here.

Not only are they absolutely loony for trying to get others to boycott certain stores, but the ones who are actually doing it? Wow.

The AFA is currently calling on their followers to boycott the Gap, Old Navy, and the Banana Republic because of an advertisement The Gap recently put out. They say it's necessary because

"The Gap is censoring the word Christmas, pure and simple. Yet the company wants all the people who celebrate Christmas to do their shopping at its stores? Until Gap proves it recognizes Christmas by using it in their newspaper, radio, television advertising or in-store signage, the boycott will be promoted."

They even went as far as to include this little fact:

"Last year, Gap issued this politically-correct statement to Christmas shoppers: "Gap recognizes that many traditions are celebrated throughout this season and we feel it is important to display holiday signage that is inclusive to everyone.""

Doesn't that basically cover the "Until Gap proves it recognizes Christmas" thing? I mean, holiday signage that is inclusive to everyone--doesn't that cover Christmas? Or is the AFA removing themselves from everyone else, putting Christianity on a pedestal, and thumbing their nose at all those apparently lesser religions that celebrate holidays in December? Oh, that's right, here's what they had to say about the season:

"Christmas is special because of Jesus. It's not just a "winter holiday." For millions of Americans the giving and receiving of gifts is in honor of the One who gave Himself. For the Gap to pretend that isn't the foundation of the Christmas season is political correctness at best and religious bigotry at worst."

Yeah, sorry, forgot that you see other December holidays as apparently lesser "winter holidays" in lower caps. I'm sorry, let's define bigotry real quick:

1.	stubborn and complete intolerance of any creed, belief, or opinion that differs from one's own.

2.	the actions, beliefs, prejudices, etc., of a bigot.

As defined by dictionary.com

Yeah. Hmm. Sounds kind of familiar, doesn't it, my dear folks at the AFA?

Christmas, for Christians, celebrates Christ. It celebrates Jesus' birth and his sacrifice for all their sins. While there is "strong evidence" that Jesus wasn't actually born in December, he is still celebrated widely by a large percent of the world's population.

Chanukah, for Jewish folks, is known as the Festival of Lights. If my memory serves me well, it's not one of the "bigger" Jewish holidays out there, but got blown up and assimilated the gift-giving and decorating customs because of how close it is to Christmas. I apologise if I completely butcher the story, but if I recall correctly Chanukah is an 8 day long event celebrating the fact that despite there only being enough oil to light a temple menorah for 1 day, the oil lasted for 8.

For the Muslims, Hajj is the pilgrimage to the city of Mecca, and corresponds to the holy day "Id Iladha," which commemorates Abraham's willingness to sacrifice his son because God said so. It's one of the five fundamental Islamic requirements (or pillars) that each Muslim is supposed to take part of at least once in his or her life.

Yule, for pagans (including Wiccans), is a winter festival celebrated on the winter solstice, which usually falls between Dec 20 and Dec 23 and is the shortest day of the year, the time when the earth is farthest away from the sun in orbit. Yule is celebrated as the returning of light, as the days will begin to grow longer. It is also seen as the rebirth of the God/The Sun.

And for African Americans, there's Kwanzaa. It was created in 1966 as the first specifically African-American holiday, and is a 7-day-long celebration featuring candle-lighting, feasting, gift giving, and more importantly, to "give Blacks an opportunity to celebrate themselves and history" according to Ron Karenga, the creator of Kwanzaa.

Despite that Christmas may be technically the most celebrated holiday, the fact that the AFA wants to step aside from all those other apparently lesser wintertime holidays and declare that because these businesses won't celebrate JUST Christmas, we are going to deem them "Naughty" and encourage everybody to boycott them is very unsettling.

I mean, the pagan customs celebrated by the Norse, the Celtic, the ancient Romans (during Saturnalia) have all been incorperated into current Christmas activities. Yes, the Yule Log, the decorated tree, and even going door-to-door for some good old fashioned caroling (also known as wassailing) can all be traced back to Norse origins. And yet the AFA wants to blow raspberries at the other religions out there, because apparently being lumped in with other non-Christian holidays is unacceptable, and yet they call the Gap bigots?

Yeah. I see how it is.

And a Happy Fuckin' Christmas to you too.

Oh, in case you're wondering, here's the Gap's commercial.

Just a quick update.

2009-11-16T15:19:00.000+11:00

My cat got bitten by an animal and I took him to the vet a few days ago... He's doing a little better, but still having a little bit of trouble walking around places, as he's got a giant cone on his head and still hasn't figured out that it doesn't fit in small areas.

It was an abscess that needed to be lanced and drained, so he's got a tube in his shoulder that leaks puss once in a while, which is really gross. And he's spent the last few days stoned out of his mind. But he's doing a bit better today, so that's good.

I've been mostly out applying at jobs and taking care of the cat, while still trying to find ways to be creative at home. I have started painting a box, which I will line the insides with soft fabric hopefully. It is nowhere near done, but I'm proud of myself so far.

I've also been trying to be supportive of my boyfriend, who has been having a really rough couple of days lately. He had a problem last night with a guy who ended up stealing $200 worth of merchandise from the store. It's been pretty rough on him, but I'm holding out hope that things will turn around quickly for him. For now, I am having a slight WoW withdrawal, as he has spent most of his free time playing WoW without me in this last week, and it makes me a bitter jealous lady. Haha.

-Manda-

Thank You Hulu!

2009-11-13T21:13:00.000+11:00

With busy schedules, running errands, paying off debt, picking up the kids, dropping off the kids, picking the kids back up, and doing that whole thing over and over and over and over again, I'm sure anyone could get frustrated about missing their favorite TV shows.

Thank goodness for Hulu. I get busy sometimes, end up running to the store or flat out forgetting about when my favorite TV shows are on, and I know many people out there can relate. I've been able to catch up on most of my missed episodes simply by going to hulu.com.

It's a streaming website that allows you to watch TV shows, movies, behind the scenes clips, and much more. It's absolutely wonderful for catching up on missed episodes, the news, or even for expanding your tastes in television. With everything from The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien to Family Guy to Nova and much more, this website does us all a huge favor and lets us watch things we've missed for free.

I've enjoyed watching from this website for a while now, and would definitely suggest it to my friends. The only not-so-good thing I could think to say is that a lot of their movie selections are composed of several older films which younger people these days might not find too interesting... However, if you're looking to take a step back in time and watch something from your youth, it's worth a shot to take a look.

All in all, Hulu is definitely awesome and something that I would--and do--recommend to everyone I know. Hulu is currently (as I'm aware) only available to those in the United States. I'm hoping for it to be available in Australia soon, as I've grown quite addicted to this form of enjoying television, and am planning on returning to Oz someday. :)

-Manda-

Nerdy Gifts

2009-11-12T14:12:00.000+11:00

Nerds. You know them, you love them, you may be one. When a birthday or a holiday rolls around, you may wonder to yourself, what can I get him/her this year? Wonder no more, I've recently discovered some pretty awesome stuff that any nerd, myself included, would just love to get their hands on.

Cat Paper Clips, for example. Not only do they have cats on them, but they are paperclips. It's simply the perfect gift for those who can relate to Angela from The Office.

The Juice Bar Portable Solar Charger is a fine choice for the eco-friendly nerd on the go. My boyfriend bought a solar charger a while ago, and it's perfect for those moments when your Nintendo DS or your cellphone are low on battery and there's no socket in sight. The one he has is just about the same size as a regular non-flipping cellphone, which makes it easier to carry around with you.

For those of you who lock themselves out of their house every so often, I encourage you to take a look at this interesting Sprinkler Hide-A-Key. Not only is it discrete, but it's very clever and I don't think many people would think to pull up your sprinkler, unless they were being a complete jerk.

Ah, Oregon Trail. I remember sitting down in the hallway computer center at my elementary school and immediately logging onto that game. Not only was it educational, but hell, it was one of the most fun games a kid could play at the time, aside from Sim City. Enter the Oregon Trail T-shirt. Yessss.

Winter is on its way, and we all know that means the temperature is beginning to drop. Time for your nerd to cuddle up on the couch in his or her Snuggie and watch a few movies. But why settle for a Snuggie when your geek could be sleeping in the belly of something far, far nerdier? Maybe it's time for the Tauntaun Sleeping Bag. Whoever thought this up deserves the highest of props--it's adorable, and I'm willing to bet that it doesn't smell anything as bad as the one in the movie did.

There are just so many awesome things out there that would be better than a pair of socks or a new tie. Well, maybe unless it looked something like this. But anything less deserves a slap on the wrist. Nerds these days are everywhere, and you gotta show how much you love and care for them, because they're the ones fixing your cable and helping you set up your email. So spoil 'em. I love nerds.

-Manda-

ComputerGear Fun Computer Gifts 'N More

ThinkGeek Stuff for Smart Masses

J!nx Clothing for Gamers and Geeks

Why do people do this?

2009-11-11T16:15:00.001+11:00

If this is all I can see of you at night at the last second when you're walking on the side of the road, then you are doing something VERY WRONG.

Tonight I was driving out to pick up my brother from his girlfriend's apartment as a favor to my parents, who were busy with other things. It's currently raining very hard out, and there is so much water on the roadway that a single car coming my way felt like daybreak trying to blind me.

My eyes have a tendency to be sensitive to light. When I drive at night, and a car is coming on, I do what my driving instructors always told me to do, and look to the white line on the side of the road, so I don't focus on the oncoming car and wind up permanently installed into their windshield. The only problem is, the lights still blind me temporarily, especially when they're new lights, or those crazy blue ones, or when people are rude enough to have their brights on. It's frustrating, but what else can I do?

So I was driving along on the road that I live just off of, and about to take a curve, knowing full well that there was a car coming, as I could see the reflections off of the water-covered roadway. I turned my attention to the white line of the curve, to guide myself (though it was insanely difficult to see thanks to the water reflecting light again), and try to slow down on the curve as quickly as I can. Suddenly, from nowhere, two figures clad entirely in black hoodies and dark pants are standing RIGHT next to my car, and instinctively I pulled the wheel closer to the yellow dividing lines in the middle of the road. Luckily I didn't cause an accident, but it put me in a scary situation.

Right after I picked up my brother, I was trying to turn right out of the parking lot, and suddenly was face to face with the figure of ANOTHER man in black, and I nearly ran HIM over as well! After we got into town again, I had my brother run into the store with the list from my parents. He quickly got everything on it, then we left. I saw a young lady in black cross the street at the cross walk, jog about ten feet from the other crosswalk, and then wait on the sidewalk until she had a chance to jaywalk across the street.

What is with people not thinking about what they're wearing, and then practically leaping in front of cars?! It's dark out. It's raining. Visibility sucks. Not everyone has 20/20 vision like I do, and even then I found it hard to spot them. Why are you wearing black at night? Do you care at all for your safety?

Please, please PLEASE, if you're going to walk at night, think to buy a reflector of some sort, or at least wear bright clothing so that you're easier for drivers to see, because who knows... The next time you go for a stroll in your black hoodie could be the day that somebody's grandmother becomes a killer.

-Manda-

Just a quick splash of color.

2009-11-11T15:47:00.000+11:00

Just a quick post... I've never been too good at "action-ey" poses... But I figured this one was semi-decent enough to post, so here it is. I'm not sure if she has a name yet, but she's clearly got a stick and is apparently ready and willing to use it.

I always liked how the Disney animators who did the Kim Possible series drew lips... So that was my attempt at borrowing that technique.

-Manda-

Autumn

2009-11-11T12:42:00.000+11:00

Autumn is my favorite season of the year. Being from the Pacific Northwest, that means most of my Autumn is filled with rain and power outages, but there's something mystical about this time of year that just draws me to it.

As nature begins its slow waltz into the somber and dark world of winter, we can see the beauty that life and death have. While trees can flower and bloom in the Spring, stand proudly and beautiful in the Summer, there is nothing else like seeing the leaves changing as they begin to drop from their chilled branches. There is beauty in life, and there is beauty in death. It's the story of our lives; we're born, we live, we fade, and die, just like how it happens in nature.

Someday, I hope to have children. I understand that there is no simple way to explain the complexities of life and death to children... But I hope that the graceful spiral that nature dances as she is born, lives, and dies, will help me in explaining these concepts to my children when the time does come.

That all being said, I love the Pacific Northwest. I love hearing the rain pour down on the roof above me. Some find it distracting, making them unable to sleep. I find that it's extremely calming. When it's pouring, I'm much like the old man who's snoring.

One thing that I can't easily sleep through, though, are lightning and thunder storms. Ones in the Pacific Northwest are fine. But there was one in particular when I was visiting in Australia that made me uneasy and unable to sleep. It was extremely loud and bright, and felt like it was right over my boyfriend's house. Scary. o.o

-Manda-

Minimizing Stress

2009-11-11T11:05:00.000+11:00

Lately I haven't been having the best of times, so I have been trying to find simple little ways to keep myself from stressing out over the small things in life. So far I've tried meditation, funny websites, music, watching tv, and drawing to keep myself from blowing up at the nearest bystander.

But the most simple thing I have found that helps as a sort of preemptive strike against the stress demons at bay is what you are seeing to the left.

Simply by turning my phone all the way down I have effectively removed myself from whatever drama can creep up into my life from friends or family who know my phone number.

It was so simple!

I'm not sure as to why I hadn't done this before. I am constantly bombarded with passive aggressive texts from people on a daily basis. But this phone, this $50 hunk of crap, is mine. Why should I allow myself to be exposed to that sort of negativity? So, All Sounds Off it is.

On the topic of meditation: I am not good at this yet. I still have a tough time fighting for my little inner voice to just be silent for a few minutes. It's as though every time I sit down and close my eyes, I get through the first few moments of silence...and suddenly am interrupted by an echoing voice in my head babbling about something interesting that happened a few months ago. And from that thought comes another, and another, and another, until I find it completely impossible to focus--or, not--on anything at all. I realize that it takes a lot of dedication and practice, but I think it may be a while before I can even go 30 seconds without my inner voice bubbling up like an excited child at a parade.

Once I do manage to do this, though, I feel like I will be much more prepared to deal with the negative energies that come from others. Even if it just gives me time alone, I will see it as a huge victory, and may have to reward myself for my patience.

-Manda-

.. ／l、
ﾞ（ﾟ､｡７
　l、ﾞ ~ヽ
　じしf_, )?

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Public Rudeness

2009-11-11T05:03:00.000+11:00

Rude

[rood]

-Adjective, rud -er, rud -est

1. Discourteous or impolite, esp. in a deliberate way: a rude reply.

We have all come across a rude person before in our life. Whether it was a friend not sharing as a child or a coworker treating you like crap, we've all been there. But how we deal with it is what makes the situation either calm down or escalate to more problematic levels of tension.

That being said, those who work in retail are very limited as to what they can do in situations where the customer is being rude. They could choose to defend themselves, or they could choose to simply let it roll off their shoulders. The majority of the time, they are encouraged to smile and nod, letting the customer get away with whatever rude behavior that they have been displaying. There's really no other way around it unless you're in a position of some sort of power in the store.

I've got a few stories, just as I'm sure you or your friends who work or ever have worked in the service or retail industry may have. As you may or may not know, I used to work at a fairly well-known pizza chain when I was in high school. I often worked nights, as I was at school during the day, and this meant I'd get people coming in for their dinner.

One particularly quiet night, I was working the front when I saw a woman approaching the store with cell phone in hand. She opened the door, walked up to the desk and stood there. I walked over to the counter, as that was what I was supposed to do, and asked her what I could get for her. She swiftly replied by snapping her hand up in between her and myself, extending a single finger to show that I was meant to wait for her.

Yes, I was irritated, but really there was nothing I could do but wait for the woman to finish up her phone call. Afterwards, she ordered her pizza and left. But I could not understand why someone would walk all the way up to the place where you order your food, only to hush the cashier and make them wait when there's clearly more important things (such as cleaning up the store) that could be being done.

While it was not the worst thing to ever happen, it was still rude of her--in my opinion--to stand at the counter while chatting on the phone. It just puts the cashier in an awkward position. The thoughts that run through our heads are mostly, "What the heck do I say?" "How do I deal with this person?" "Does he/she honestly expect my best if I can't even get theirs?"

So please, if you're going to go up to a service counter, hang up the phone. Not only does it make the cashier feel weird for not being able to serve you the best way possible, but it makes you look like a complete bitch.

Just some food for thought.

-Manda-

deviantART and Pr0n.

2009-11-11T00:25:00.000+11:00

Credit to Yuri-Yurie on deviantART for this lovely photograph with a message.

I have been a member of deviantART for four years now, and have had a mostly good relationship with the people of the website's community. I've only run into a few jerks here or there, and even then, it did not phase me much.

The human body is a beautiful thing. We can all agree to that. And there is some beautiful nude art out there. But there are some things that just make me cringe.

I had such an experience earlier this evening. I had just logged onto deviantART, and was looking through the most recent postings on the main page. The first thing that grabbed my attention was the image of a young woman with ejaculate dribbling out of her mouth.

My first instinct was to make sure I didn't accidentally stumble onto a porn site. I looked up again, and it was confirmed, I was on dA. Face in palm, I followed the link, as I had felt the need to click the "Report" button, which is something I'd never done before. The process was remarkably easy, and I was soon alerted that the image had been taken down. I was pleased.

I don't mean to burst anyone's bubble; I'm sure that dude was super proud of himself for jizzing in that chick's mouth. But I don't think that dA was the right place to put it. I mean, I remember when I was younger, it's very easy to lie about your age on the internet, especially when there's no one to enforce it. Any child could have said they were 18, and found themselves looking into the gaping maw of some strange woman with ejaculate all over the place. Personally, that's not something I would want my kids to see.

I know the nature of children, though. They'll always find a way to check it out. It's just the way we're all made-curious and thirsty for knowledge. It's why we played doctor as children, or why we snuck over to our older siblings' homework when they were taking the Sex E.D. classes.

If you've got some classy nude photography, nude paintings, sculptures, whatever... Then that's fine. But the sort of thing that I saw today was simply unacceptable in my eyes. Please, when you're posting things online, think of the small kids who are lying about their age on the website you are on. Do you really want little 11 year old Susie to see your pierced junk? I didn't think so.

-Manda-

I LOVE ETSY.

2009-11-10T15:18:00.000+11:00

I just found the cutest necklace EVER. It is seriously the most adorable thing I have seen in a while.

I also found several other adorable Koala-themed items. Gawd I love koalas so much. Why must they be so adorable!?

Here is a beautiful Koala print, which would be a lovely little thing for a baby's bedroom IMO. When I have kids, I'm definitely decking out their rooms in koala stuff. There's just no way around it. These creatures are just too awesome not to cover a baby's bedroom with.

This adorable stuffed koala toy is something I would buy for my kid too. It's just so adorable not to. The price tag is a tad high, but it's a price I'd be willing to pay to have this little guy in my life.

Wombats are adorable too. This is one of the stuffed animals my baby got me for my birthday last year. I sleep with it at night, because it's just so easy to squeeze. I love me some Australian animals, all right.

-Manda-

Cancelled.

2009-11-10T15:02:00.000+11:00

Well, my World of Warcraft time is finally up. I had just leveled my second character to 80 (the current level cap) a few days ago, and suddenly--POOF--all gone. I guess it's for the better, though. Until I can afford to pay the $15 my slight addiction requires per month, it's better off that I'm going to have time to focus my efforts elsewhere. This will greatly speed up my help around the house, my lack of exercise, and hopefully my job search. All things to be pretty happy and excited about, I suppose. But I'm not here to talk about work or exercise today. The thing on my mind as of right now is the negative reputation we WoW players get from the non-WoW players.

Let me share with you a story. It was on my grandfather's 80th birthday. My mother and aunts had managed to gather most, if not all, of the family from that side of things, at a little restaurant in our town. It was nice, everyone seemed in good spirits, and aside from the expense of the place, things went very well.

Now, because my boyfriend lives in Australia, he was not here at the time. My cousins all brought their girlfriends and boyfriends, and basically it was just me and my younger brother who were without another that evening. Pretty lame. Most of my family is thin and fairly good looking, so it made sense that their significant others were all pretty, thin, young women.

Enter me. I'm short, overweight, and at the time, was working a part time job, still living in my parents house, and yes, was an avid WoW player.

So one of the girls turns to me, looking lovely and gorgeous and the antithesis of how I view myself, and asks me, "So, what do you do?" I had been trying to keep to myself that evening, as I was fairly uncomfortable being smushed in with the other people roughly my age, all of which were attending school of some sort. I looked up at the girl, and smiled, trying to be sincere.

"Oh, I work at [Insert discount store name here]."

She asked me if I went to school, which I replied I did not. She asked me if I was living out on my own, which I replied that I did not. She asked me what I did in my spare time, and I replied that I played WoW.

Then, the look.

You who play WoW or any MMO like it may know it. The raising of the eyebrows, no movement in the eyes, fake smile, as they nod quickly and reply that "that's cool" or some other similar phrase. Yes, she flashed me this look, and I did not pay much heed to it, thinking that it was over.

Well, of course it wasn't. She then proceeded to ask me about it, saying that sooo many people get addicted to it and that it's bad and people basically waste their lives doing it. All of this may be true. But she didn't exactly have to say it right there. Queue small bits of food such as nuts and wads of straw paper being flicked in my direction. Ahh, yes. Family, gotta love them.

World of Warcraft is extremely popular. People will even go so far as to buy several accounts, leveling several characters up at the same time. It can be a fun game most of the time. Yes, there can be those moments when you actually notice the grind, such as in the Nesingwary Quests. But there are good times too. Like when you /roll on something that's definitely an upgrade for you, and actually win. Or when you realize that your Guild is amazing. Or when you come across someone in-game that you could see yourself spending forever with.

I guess this is more of a reflective post than anything; I do enjoy playing WoW, even though it can be filled with idiots and gold sellers a lot of the time. I will be renewing my subscription after I have the funds for it, and I will play again. Until then, I can rest assured that my Warlock and Death Knight are waiting for me.

That being said, no, I'm not taking a shot at anyone in particular.

-Manda-

Artistic Slump

2009-11-10T14:29:00.000+11:00

I feel like I've hit a wall in the realm of my artistic expression lately. Yes, I understand that I'm not awesome at drawing or painting, and that if you've gone to school for it, you're probably 10x better than I am. But we're not here to talk about you. >:]

I've been wanting to work this kink out for the past few months, but have been finding it extremely difficult to do so.

I've been trying to broaden my horizons as well. Before, I tried desperately to simply draw in the "anime" sort of style that is oh so popular everywhere anyone can look nowadays. After realizing this, and coming to the conclusion that anime wasn't as awesome to me as it used to be, I tried different things and put my spin on them, all while trying to find a spin that I had, if that makes any sense.

I've tried painting on a canvas, soft pastels, WoW comics, cartoons, and my favorite and currently un-matched in quality (by myself, of course), painting done on my computer using openCanvas. It's all been a fun and sometimes annoying adventure, but I'm just not sure where my style is. I felt extremely comfortable in the cartoons that I drew. The painting on oC was challenging, and I can't recreate the dedication I put into that single painting. Acrylic paints on canvas seems to go alright, but I find the cleanup to be both tedious and frustrating.

I guess it doesn't matter either way; everything that comes from my fingertips belongs to me, and expresses in some way how I am feeling about something in particular at the moment I am drawing/painting it. Even though it might not be the best in anyone else's eyes, or even my own, my work is mine, and no one can take that from me.

-Manda-

P.S.

Here, look at this koala :D

Facebook Keeps-A-Changin'

2009-11-10T07:20:00.000+11:00

Facebook.

You all know it. You all (probably) use it. If not, then

good on ya.

I'm one of those many who were sucked into the fascination that Facebook seems to hold for those who liked MySpace, but didn't care for the way it operated. Yep. Facebook has got something for everyone. Status updates? Check. Sharing websites, images, and videos with your friends? Check. Groups dedicated to anything and everything? Got it. Games you can play? Sure thing. Blogging? Sure, that's what Notes are for.

I like Facebook. I may not be one of those people who updates every 5 seconds on what they're doing, like those who Twitter, but hey if I want to leave something under my name that says what movie I'm watching, at least I can do that. But some things have been changing lately, and I'm not to certain I like what's been happening.

Mainly it's just the News Feed thing. When bored, I liked to scroll through this long, long list of what my old high school friends who I've since disassociated from were up to. Oh, they had a baby! Heyy, they added so-and-so as a friend! Neat, that person is into that sport! Though it is interesting to read every once in a while, I try not to get too caught up in the happenings of my News Feed.

A few days ago I noticed that my Feed was a bit shorter than usual. It confused me, but after playing around on the site a little bit, I found that if I wanted to see more posts, I had to click the "View Live Feed" link at the top of the screen. Lo and behold, there it was. All the juicy gossip I'd missed for the past few hours.

That small victory was bittersweet. I had conquered my problem: not being able to see what my friends had been doing; but I noticed that another problem had bubbled to the surface: I had been getting upset about not being able to see their updates. I had let Facebook get to me!

I guess it's normal for this age, though. Nothing is private anymore, nothing is sacred from prying eyes. If someone wants to know what you're up to, they have many ways to find out if you're on of the many who utilize websites such as Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, etc. It just goes to remind you that you've got to be especially careful of what you put out there. I mean, there are all sorts of people out there, who would jump at the chance to catch you off guard if they found that you were "out to so-and-so store lolz." So let's be careful, shall we?

Just a thought.

-Manda-

Someday, it will happen.

2009-11-09T20:45:00.000+11:00

Candles. I love them. I love them so much that I have a giant box full of them. It is about 1.5' by 2.5', and 1.5' deep. I love candles. A lot.

I want to make candles someday, and I would love to be able to sell them. I want to be crafty in oh so many ways, so that I may express my creativity and the way I feel about things, and possibly be able to profit from it at the same time.

I want to own a little shop in an area of a town that is known for cute little stores. I want people to look into my windows, see the many beautiful candles, decorations, tools, and want to walk in.

My dream is that my store will be small, but cozy. Hopefully I will be well-known by my customers. I want my husband (well, when I get one, haha) to come into my store to drop off lunch for me, and maybe a flower or two. My life would be sweet if I could have all these things. But I've got to work for them all to happen. I can do it. It will take time, but I can.

It's good to dream big.

-Manda-

Photo is borrowed from here.

Background Story

2009-11-09T05:01:00.000+11:00

This is me. I'm a 21-year-old girl from the Seattle, WA area, yes I'm wearing my hair in horrible braids, and yes I'm wearing a nightie in that picture. I don't mind, though. I'm a bit off, I suppose. But I guess that's what makes me, me. I graduated high school, didn't go to college, and am currently unemployed, living with my parents. Yeah, it's not going so well right now.

I draw occasionally, and write from time to time. I enjoy reading, watching tv (like any good American does), and playing video games. World of Warcraft is my game of choice on the PC. On my Xbox I am a big fan of the Guitar Hero games. I used to be addicted to the Sims, and the Sims 2, and the Sims 3, but those games have kind of lost their sparkle for me. Yes, the Sims games have sparkles.

I have a boyfriend, who I met online, through WoW amazingly enough. He's the most wonderful man I have ever known, and I love him with all my heart. We met about 2.5 years ago, and have been crazy in love ever since. I visited him at his home in Australia for about 3 months this year. It was wonderful, and I hope to be back there again.

My favorite color is lime green, favorite animal is the koala, my foods of choice are lasagne, spaghetti, and meat pies from the bakery near my man's house. I drink tea every day, cranberry juice whenever I can, and on occasion will crack into a bottle of Mike's Hard Lemonade (though I prefer the Berry version more). My main aspirations in life are to someday own my own store and to have a family to look after. Yep, pretty run of the mill. But hey, it's the American dream.

Right now, I'm trying to find my place in life. I've spent the last few months trying to find a new job. It's been pretty tiresome, but I think I will manage to find one soon, as Christmas is coming up. Yes, things are going to start falling into place quite nicely, if all works out the way I hope it to.

-Manda-