Losing Contact

I try not to get all mopey.  I really do.  But since moving to Australia, I've realized just how lonely it can get, being far, far away from people I used to see every once in a while.  People I used to be close with.

I don't know if it's just a normal part of growing older, or my moving to another country, or any of the other many, many things that come to mind.  However, I am finding that a few people that I once were pretty good friends with (well, as far as I believed) are no longer speaking to me, despite my attempts to contact them through most common means I have available at the moment.

It's incredibly depressing, isn't it?

I really do hate losing friends, but I can't help but think that it's just something that I'm doomed to repeat for the rest of my life.  My mind dwells on past friendships, and the turbulent ways in which they ended.  Back then, I always thought that it was the worst way to lose a friend ever.

But I was wrong.  There is a way to lose friends that is worse than fighting and bickering -- silence.

It's not knowing whether or not they are just distracted, or irritated, or if they just don't care anymore.  It makes me feel like I'm a little kid again.  Confusion, frustration, loneliness.  It's so uncomfortable.

I'm not sure what to do, really.  I feel that if I move in any one direction towards an answer, I'll be causing a problem or be irritating someone in some way.  Should I try to talk, or should I just let our friendship fade away?  I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Samhain and Stuff

Well as I write this, I'm waiting for ze husband to return home.  Tonight's Samhain, we've been burning some candles in memory of loved ones who have passed from each of our families, since we're just keeping it simple this year. We also are going to have a nice simple little dinner with some autumn-ey veggies and fun stuff like that.  Oh, and my adequate apple pie.  It's not amazing because I forgot to put the nutmeg and cinnamon in, but it's edible. It's a little tart, because I used the granny smith ones.  They're my favorite though. Next time I'll use some sweeter ones.

My legs feel really shaky.  Wanna know why? It's because I'm dumb.

I forgot that some of the apple pie stuff had oozed out and gotten on the bottom of the oven, and then tried to cook dinner.  The kitchen got all smoky and the fire alarm decided to go off, at 11pm.  Haha.  It was pretty funny, me running around the house frantically, turning on the fans and trying to turn the damn thing off.  It was really loud, too, so I guess that's good, in case we do get a fire someday.

I stopped it once, then it decided to go off again, for a few minutes that time... I tried everything I could  to turn it off - I pushed buttons, etc.  It just wouldn't stop!  I called hubby and it sorted itself out, but my legs and ears felt like jelly afterwards, and they still do, haha.  Well, these things happen I suppose.  I just hope it didn't wake anyone up.  And no, the fire dept. didn't show up, so that's good!

I've got our pumpkin bake ready to go, it's in foil and on the counter, but I'm not putting it in the oven until ze husband returns from work.  I'm not saying I'm scared the alarm will go off again...  ....

Ok I am. Haha.  I hate that thing!