I love a show called “Can of Worms”. It’s an Australian show that focuses not on politics or current affairs, but rather on political correctness, personal values, and other things that we deal with on a day to day basis in life. Some of the topics have been whether it’s ok to tell your kids to hit back if they’re being bullied, whether or not it’s ok for a 17 year old to sleep with someone in their 40s, whether or not it’s ok to tell your teenager that some people take drugs because they’re enjoyable, and do we hero-worship our sports starts too much.
One of the more recent topics, is this: Do you think it's irresponsible to tell kids there is a god?
My answer? No, it’s not irresponsible, but only if you do it in a way that is appropriate for the situation.
Having never raised kids myself, I can’t say anything about any personal experiences. However, a lot of this is just common sense, really. However you do it, if at all, it needs to be in a manner that is appropriate to the situation.
Recently on the news I’ve been seeing video of a little boy named Kanon Tipton who, at the young age of 4 years old, is preaching in his family’s church. And that’s not all, he’s been ‘preaching’ since he was only 21 months old. I’ve seen the video – it’s emotional, fiery, dramatic... Everything that he’s learned from watching his father and his grandfather while they work. And apparently some out there feel that little Kanon’s sermons are literally the word of God being delivered through this 4 year old’s lips.
I try not to be judgemental of others’ beliefs. But there are some special cases that I just have to accept that, well, I’m going to laugh a bit. Scientology is one of those beliefs that I just cannot talk about without cracking a smile. And now, it seems I can add this example of evangelical Christianity to the list.
At age 4, I didn’t understand the concept of ‘God’. I find it difficult to believe that it’s possible for children that young to be able to understand much about religion in general. Sure, growing up I called myself Christian, went to a private Christian school for a couple of years, tried out Sunday school, and prayed at the dinner table.
But as I grew older, and my brain started to make those connections that would help me to learn about just who I am as a person, I found that I did not understand any of what was going on in a religious sense. Sure, maybe I was a bit slow in the religious department. Or maybe I wasn’t. Regardless, Christianity and a belief in God faded out of my life quietly and discretely.
If you want to talk to your kids about religion, there should be a basic checklist of some sort of things that you should consider before you even open your mouth.
Your own beliefs are something you obviously need to consider. If you’re an atheist, raising your children as atheists, then you’re obviously not going to teach them that God is watching them. You might teach them that people believe in lots of different things, or you might teach them that religion is a stupid flaw in human thinking that will doom us all. Personally I would go with the former rather than the latter, as teaching your kids to hate probably isn’t the best way to go, but hey, it’s your choice.
Likewise, if you’re a Christian, you’ll teach your kids that Jesus is God and that he died for their sins. Or you could raise your children to believe in Odin, or in Zeus, or Ganesha, or Shiva, or simply the God and Goddess, or any of the other hundreds and thousands of gods and goddesses out there.
The beliefs and wishes of your partner are also something you need to consider. If you're Christian and your partner is Jewish, what should you do? Discuss things with your spouse. Then, discuss things together with your children- perhaps you'll let them decide what feels right when they are old enough to make the decision. Perhaps you'll just omit religion altogether. It's something that needs to be decided between the both of you, because you both have rights when it comes to your child.
The age and maturity of your children are definitely something you need to check before deciding on whether or not to bring religion into your house. If your kid is 4 years old, they're more likely to be concerned about what the Wiggles are doing on TV than where their soul is going when they die. But when your 9 or 10 year old comes to you asking who Jesus is, why he loves her, and why her friends are telling her she's going to go to hell if she doesn't love him back, then perhaps it's time to open up a dialogue.
You know your kids better than anyone else does, and so you'll know when it's best to talk about these sorts of things. Personally, I hope to be able to show my future children that people believe different things, and that we should accept that people have the right to believe what they feel is right religiously.
The way you raise your kids is entirely up to you and your partner. The way others raise their kids is not.
If you’re babysitting your sister’s kids, who were raised as atheists or had no religious influence whatsoever, sitting them down and giving them the whole fire and brimstone, “you’re going to hell if you don’t accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour” speech, I don’t exactly think your sister would be very appreciative.
However, if your niece or nephew comes to you and asks why you wear a cross, or a pentacle, or a Mjolnir pendant around your neck, or why you read out of a Bible or a Quran, or why you’ve got naked statuettes on an altar, then sure – give them a short explanation and encourage them to seek knowledge from their parents. But for gods sakes, don’t cram it down their throats, or scare them into believing what you believe, especially if they aren’t YOUR kids.
As adults, it’s entirely our responsibility to conduct ourselves as the mature grown-up people that we’re supposed to be, as role-models and teachers to the children that are in our lives. It is from us that children learn how to present themselves when they grow older, and that includes the ways that we approach religion. If we teach our kids to hate that which is different just because it seems stupid to us, or because an ancient text’s translation tells us that it’s wrong, or because they choose to share their faith more openly than others do, then that’s all we’ll get – more hate in the world, more hate based off of ignorance and intolerance. That’s just what we do not need.
So if your brother has asked you to not talk to his kids about Jesus, then don’t. If your little cousin asks about the hammer around your neck, but your Aunt says she doesn’t want an ancient Norse god being mentioned in her house, then don’t. It’s as simple as that.
